If you go for an appology, you'll probably be dissappointed. The best he could muster doesn't sound like you would accept. I don't know what your situtation is or was but I do know that everyone wish's they had what they precieve to have been a normal relationship with their parent's and/or children. You know what the score is, don't expect anything else. That usually leads to dissappointment. You can carry around these feelings you have or not, that's up to you, but only you can rid yourself of them and that you should do. Likely as not from what little I gather here, he won't help you, at least not in a way you would recognize. If you go see him, he's just a man, just like all other men. Some are very much different than other's and some we just can't accept. Sounds to me like first you have to accept you! Once you do that, dealing with him is just dealing with another person. My son's mother shuned him for many years when he came to live with me. Zero contact. Today he's 34 and still struggles inside with why his mother can't be someone he can accept. She's not and he doesn't have to but he does maintain contact now. The only good that may ever come of it may well be after she's gone he'll know he's done all he could. That's all anyone can do. It seem's obvious to me that you'd really like to go see him, for whatever reason. Do it but do it as an adult, not the kid it sounds like he intimidated. If you can't do that, you'll only hurt yourself again.
