Ever have something that rattles your world. Something you THINK you ALREADY have figured out and in it's place? And it up and dances on your 'happy' parade...when things are going really good. When things haven't been easy but the choices you have made are actaully starting to make sense....things are starting to fall into place and make sense to ya?

That is where I am. I am confused and tired and sorta pizzed off at it all. Actually, sorta REALLY pizzed off.

Freaks me out that I use to beg God to take him.....use to think of ways to kill him....just to turn around and melt at the thought of him 'going' before I have a chance to....I don't know....maybe just to see the regret in his eyes....or maybe to give him a chance to ask me to forgive him....or maybe, just maybe, see him as an equal....as an adult...and have it all played out on an equal playing field....were I finally have a voice.

Not sure where this venture will end...and I have no plans on letting it shake my foundation...although, it sure as hell has shook my wallsgrin.

Musta looked like a deer in headlights the other night. It's been an INSANE few days.

HoundGirl

Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain

Part of me lives with the wind in my face,
while the other part is barely alive.

--Mary Gauthier