Model 69 is probably the best option you have given your requirements and I would let that dictate your caliber choice. Coming from someone who has owned dozens of N-frames, Ruger SRHs, RH, BH's, flattops, etc.
The M69 is very tough, very light (will carry like your 357) and because the bore axis is noticeably lower, has less felt recoil than an 4" N-frame with the same loads, despite weighing less.
I hate the way it looks but after I got an M69 I slowly got rid of my other big bore revolvers. Still have an SRH that's about to go to Hamilton Bowen for a 45 Colt conversion.
I'd get a 4" M69 and not think about this anymore. My carry load is a 250gr WFN or LFN under 10.5-ish grains of Unique or N350 for 1050-1075 fps. It's much quieter than a 357 with full power loads.
If you're able to squeeze another shot off, you'll first have to bring the muzzle from behind your head back to a shooting position.
