Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Great Guys and Suicide

Ya, I get that, but doesn't that speak to the power of depression?
You seem seem to think these people just discount their families, not that they become overpowered by the pain.

That is natural. The ones left behind feel cheated. In a way, they are.
The same empty and angry feeling lingers after the death of a loved one or someone close to alcoholism. Alcoholism is often seen as self induced just like suicide. It leaves people with resentment, bitterness and anger that is difficult to let go of or resolve.

A few weeks ago I was given the privilege of giving the eulogy at my very close friends memorial service. He died of complications of alcoholism. His life went from great to out of control and then death within 3 years. Astonishing to witness, and unavoidable despite involvement and intervention. This is what I talked to those gathered about. Alcoholism (you can substitute suicide in such a talk) was the 800 pound gorilla in the room that we all wanted to talk about, but couldn't. We all felt empty, we felt cheated, we felt anger, we were bitter. We were disappointed in our friend/brother/father/husband/son who did not stick to recovery. The lies and the broken promises stung us. He is gone but should still be with us. Suicide leaves the same. Our friend/father/husband/son should still be with us, but is gone. It leaves us angry at him, bitter that we can't resolve it, and have a situation that is difficult to work out.

I told all those gathered that mental illness is real. It is as real and as deadly as cancer or heart disease. As a matter of fact, I challenged all there in that if our friend had died of cancer, or of a heart attack, or some other common natural condition that we all would have a different feeling about our friend. We would be sad, we would mourn, but we wouldn't have the anger or resentment. I challenged them all to let that go, to accept that alcoholism and depression are diseases just the same, and accept them as less understood but equally as fatal. I told them all that should the our friend had succumbed to cancer, we'd all think back and talk in terms of "before he got sick, things we great and we did such and such and he was happy and fun to be around". I challenged them to treat this the same way and remember our friend "before he got sick".

Suicide is no different in my observations. To let go fo the anger and negativity, those close need to remember the person "before they were sick". It doesn't solve everything, but it starts a path to some resolution and peace of mind for those left to deal with the aftermath.

It is a sad situation, no matter how you try to deal with it.

A very good friend shot himself this time of year, 1987.
We were seniors, he was a smart good looking guy.
Happy, popular, signed up to go into the Air Force that summer.
Couldnt wait to get started on his new career.

Left the house early the first morning of Turkey season, did it 200 yards from the house,
with a deer rifle. (Illegal for turkeys here)

32 years later, it still upsets me. No note, still can't guess why.

Sorry to hear that. Had a friend named David Ellis, school, then played ball against him in high school. Guy was always upbeat, one of my favorites, then one day he turned dark for no apparent reason. After he killed himself, I learned that his father and a brother had done the same. Depression, hereditary, it took a happy upbeat guy, then hit like a dark storm.

On the subject of depression I had a very close friend who became depressed. His house was paid for, a good long term marriage and children. At some point he talked to me and said he was seeing a psychiatrist for his problem. During our discussion I asked him what prompted him to get help. He said it happened when he found himself contemplating suicide.

Today he is in good shape and enjoying a well deserved retirement. He has told me that on occasion he goes through a few dark hours but he falls back on suggestions his doctor gave him while he was receiving treatment many years ago and brings himself out of it. I used to see him almost daily at the time he was having problems and had absolutely no idea of his problems.

Some people can get out of it, some not. Not for me to judge.

Jim

Very nice, I'm going to copy that down, should the need ever arise. Thank you.

For those facing terminal illness, I say it is their choice.

For all the others I am just sorry the whatever it was, that made suicide seemed to be the solution.

Not much on church kinda stuff, but I seem to remember reading somewhere

"Judge not lest ye be judged"

What if its just the depression talking?

To me, well, it truly depends on the situation. A former 7th grade biology teacher of mine--and literally thousands of other youngsters over the years-- in an International school overseas took his life after dozens of women came forward to detail being raped and molested by him as children in his care over a period of more than 30 years as trusted teacher. The victims were aged between 11 and 15 at the time of their abuse. That animal taking his own life as the authorities began the process of bringing hundreds of charges against him, an admitted sex crimina and serial predator wasn't chickenshyt? To me, anyway, that's exactly what it was. A final cowardly act. YMMV

Great post man.

That's not depression, that is shame and cowardice. In other words, had he not been caught, he would still be alive today.

Caucasian males are in the thick of it these days.

In the conversation about suicide, it is important to note that the group of people most at risk are middle aged white men between the ages of 45 and 54. In fact, 70% of suicides happen among white middle aged men.

https://reliasacademy.com/rls/store/suicide-epidemic-and-how-to-prevent-suicide

I've only known one person who committed suicide. It was his Mother's fault. She was a terrible human.

I never knew anyone that did that shït. Most all my friends and family have their heads screwed on straight.

As for the ptsd thing, lots of people have that. I don't know of any firefighters, paramedics or rescue squad personnel that have seen some real depressing stuff milking any govt entity for $4k a month like Bob on the Fob.

Doesn't surprise me. You know in baseball when a player get the yips, or "the thing", when they lose the ability to throw a baseball to first base without air-mailing it into the stands?

My bud tells me there is a saying in Major League baseball, "the thing don't speak Spanish" . Not one case of a Black player or Latin player getting a case of the yips, it's a white thing. Something different about the white brain...in my Al Campanas moment.

There used to be a guy on here always telling people to go suckstart a glock, I have a hunch he ended up sucking one. Irony.

Mental illness is real.

Hatari, thanks for your thoughts on the matter, very powerful stuff for anyone willing to listen. Mental illness is absolutely an illness!

The first death that devastated me was my best friend when we in our late teens.
A suicide, and the loss far overshadowed the fatal means employed.
Acceptance of his death was to be a long ways off.

Through the decades that followed, there have been many more suicides and I've
never really understood the whys or the wherefores - but I've never felt any anger, or
anything other than sadness for the loss of a loved one and friend.

I think the word is 'empathy' - I don't understand but I can accept.

I have known 4 people that committed suicide in my lifetime, nothing prepares you for the shock of being told that they are gone, followed by anger, grief, etc. you have no idea what is going through another persons mind and I have decided to remember them for the good times I had with them and not judge them for the decision they made.