Sadly it looks like my brother's marriage is headed for divorce. I say sad because he and I (and supposedly his wife) are Christians and we know that God hates divorce. In my humanness though I sure feel he will be better off without her (emotionally anyway). Financially is another matter. Which is why I am looking for advice on his behalf.
They live in Washington State and he said that it is a no fault divorce state. As such, apparently she will take half of the assets regardless of the circumstances.
As we all know there are 2 sides to the story but overall this one seems quite one sided.
She has not worked for years, claiming that she has chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia and who knows what else. I believe she might be getting disability benefits but I am not sure about that.
Basically she sleeps all night and most of the day and contributes very little to the running of the house. My brother has tried to honor his wedding vows (in sickness and health etc) and take care of her but she has basically sucked the life out of him. The big blow up this week that caused him to vacate the house was that she essentially decided for them that her drunken bum of a son from a previous marriage was going to stay with them and that my brother had nothing to say about it. This son has stayed with them off and on with my brother biting his tongue and trying to be a loving and supportive husband but he had words with the disrespectful piece of crap and hurt the poor boys feelings. Among other issues the son decided (with the wife's urging) to start parking his car in the garage and my brother could just park his car in the driveway. Sadly my brother has allowed his wife to run roughshod over him for years and now it looks like she has decided (despite him bending over backwards to do right by her for years) that her drunken bum of a son (who is a grown man) is more important to her than the marriage is.
Clearly with that being the case my brother is better off without her but is there any way for him to not lose half of all he has worked for with her contributing basically nothing?
He has worked for the federal government for about 28 years and has a good retirement account and pension and also has the house paid off.
Just wondering if there are any lawyers here or other folks from WA State that have any legal type advice for him. Thanks much!
There’s no marriage there left to save, and hasn’t been for a long time.
The below is opinion, and not given as legal advice.
Her actions prove she has zero respect or love for her husband, and that mental state doesn’t just happen overnight. I’d be willing to bet from your posting they haven’t had sex in over a year, which would allow him to use as a case of her abandoning him for the basis of a divorce in some states.
There’s no telling what kind of damage that “drunk” could cause in the house while your brother is not there to keep him in check, and protect his assets and the value of the house. The drunk has no legal contract (lease), and is trespassing the moment your brother says he is not welcome. He’s not a minor with the wife having custody. Depending on how long he’s been there this time, might weigh on whether the law allows you to kick him to the street immediately without going through a formal eviction process. Depends on what state law is on establishing residency.
Tell your brother to call the Sheriff’s Dept. “tomorrow” to see if he can have a unit meet him at his house to remove him, and all his belongings from the premises. He’ll find out pronto, from them, whether he can or if he has to file eviction papers since he’s now living there. MAKE THIS HAPPEN TOMORROW, because it could be the last day he could make this easy for him, and save time from going through eviction (30-90 days). A set number of days establishes legal residency.
You don’t want him in that house, so he could be a witness that will lie on her behalf in a divorce case. It’s HIS house. Kick that worthless trash out. He deserves that satisfaction for what she is forcing him to do, and to get back at the punk for disrespecting him in his own house and pushing him out. Have your brother get a restraining order against him, based on violence / threats, so he can not be near your brother or the house, again, to protect from being a potential lying witness of what he heard / visualized.
Conduct a quick look through the house while the Sheriff’s unit is there to see if any valuables are missing, he might have stolen, before they watch him drive away.
The lawyer can advise on whether your brother should move back in or not, but watch how that applies to her using / establishing abandonment against him if he doesn’t move back in.
Destroy any current Will with her, and make new one, NOW. Change all beneficiaries on retirement accounts and life insurance policies immediately. You’ve already been told about CC and bank accts.
If she sleeps 75% of the time, she has high percentage of getting life threatening diseases. He could just move back in, and wait her out, but at what suffering to him, enjoyment of life?
Tell your brother to ask the lawyer about the above when he talks to him TOMORROW morning.