Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire My Son Took His Own Life

Starman,
I want to respond here as you make a good point about keeping the bad things away from kids. I wanted my kids to have the same experiences as other kids in society. That meant in our case, having a "smart" phone. However, we as stewards and mentors of our kids do not realize what the current environmentals are doing to our kids. I work in the cyber security industry and have for the last 19 years. I'm aware of how technology works and how corporate networks are being targeted, etc. However, I didn't have any ideas as to how kids were interacting with technology (and with each other) as I didn't and don't buy into social media. I saw my son one day rolling through his phone tapping the screen...This went on for 30 minutes. I asked him what he was doing and he proceeds to tell me that he has to continue the streaks on SnapChat. Bottom line is that these companies are finding way to keep the kids engaged in screen time and to have "followers" so that a user base for the platform is built. Social media companies are also clever enough to remove any forensic evidence or metadata after a user views a chat/video. This alone propagates the ability for cyber bullying to occur. Also remember, time is of the essence in collecting any of these logs as evidence.

Where does that leave me as a parent? We, in our infinite wisdom (pun here), try to limit his access and time on the phone. My son figures out how we're filtering and he then finds a way around it by re-writing his MAC address on the device or gets on another local, open hotspot.There were times where we felt taking the phone away was a means to protect him. However, he was in a school system where attendance was taken by the phone. Classrooms were administered through the use of the phones by having kids answer questions via the "smart" phone. Now, we're in a situation where he's having a hard time in the classroom due to us taking the phone.....Environmental demands here tell us this isn't sustainable. So, to answer your question, it's not black and white on being able to block access when content is deleted after being viewed. Staying away if you can't handle isn't an option either as there were legitimate demands for the technology. It's a vicious cycle that we've put ourselves in here. At the end of the day, my son made a decision....Keeping him away may not have changed his decision.

In the future, we'll look back on this time regarding technology and society's exposure and think of it as an absolute train wreck. My son told me some time back I had no idea what he was exposed to compared to when I was his age. Wrongfully, I didn't believe him originally but I do now. I tried to get the kids outdoors and to expose them to the simpler pleasures in life. However, the dopamine rush from social media wouldn't let them slow down and enjoy it like we did as youngsters.


Anyway, thank you all for the condolences and kind words. They are comforting if there is such a thing right now. It's helped me to write this post. There are some on here that I've reached out to that have walked down this road years back. I appreciate the knowledge and wisdom imparted as they went through the process.

Starman,
I want to respond here as you make a good point about keeping the bad things away from kids. I wanted my kids to have the same experiences as other kids in society. That meant in our case, having a "smart" phone.....

..... ......

Bad people leverage whatever they can.

We have so far avoided smart phones and social media for our kids....and will continue to avoid them.


A terrible reminder for sure.

Resist, resist, at all costs resist, all the way though high school.