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Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 13,281 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 13,281 Likes: 4 |
Well now that we've run down the hoarders, gougers, payday lenders, title lenders, and pawn brokers, who else belongs on the lowest of the low list? I nominate Morticians. You know the type. "Don't you think your loving grandma deserves a much nicer casket that that? Wouldn't you like one of the plots on the hillside with a better view? You'll feel bad if you don't give your father the full embalming. You have to buy a concrete vault if you want to bury him in this cemetery."
Necessary evil? Know any morticians?
Let's Go Brandon! FJB
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 18,586 Likes: 16
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 18,586 Likes: 16 |
Death is big business in America. It’s a huge ripoff to the American public. Those guys definitely play off of the emotions of those grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Every day on this side of the ground is a win.
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,793
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,793 |
Personally, I'm an anti-Dentite.
Last edited by High_Noon; 09/11/20.
l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right. - Del Gue
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 11,923
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 11,923 |
I know that folks are just dying to see them.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,923
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,923 |
Book The American Way of Death.
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Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 8,832 Likes: 15
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 8,832 Likes: 15 |
Let's be honest, aren't most necrophiliacs?
If youve ever been around a decomp, and liked it, you're weird...
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,421
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,421 |
One of my best friend is a Mortician. Came up together duck hunting........ Not weird at all but no humor in him to be seen.....
If it ain't broke don't fix it!!!!!!!!!!!
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,879 Likes: 59
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,879 Likes: 59 |
I am MAGA.
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Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 13,281 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 13,281 Likes: 4 |
I went to church with a Mortician when I was younger and still going to church. He was a happy, cheerful guy. His family lived upstairs in the mortuary building, his kids had the run of the place except for the morgue area. I thought it was kind of wierd.
Let's Go Brandon! FJB
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Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 5,210 Likes: 5
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 5,210 Likes: 5 |
My son is supposed to dig a hole under my deer feeder in the backyard and throw me in it. The county coroner has to come out and verify that I'm dead and there's nothing suspicious about my death. The only catch is I need to be planted within 48 hours, hopefully I won't be bloated and stinking to bad.
Life is good live it while you can.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,436 Likes: 2
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,436 Likes: 2 |
As one of our former tenants said "Burn me!" We did - he'd lived here for ~ 20 years, and told us we were his only family!
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon. ~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 13,281 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 13,281 Likes: 4 |
My son is supposed to dig a hole under my deer feeder in the backyard and throw me in it. The county coroner has to come out and verify that I'm dead and there's nothing suspicious about my death. The only catch is I need to be planted within 48 hours, hopefully I won't be bloated and stinking to bad. I wish that option was available to me. They kind of frown on backyard burials in Henderson.
Let's Go Brandon! FJB
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,545 Likes: 68
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,545 Likes: 68 |
I knew of a black funeral parlor here in town. Pimp lookin cat was the director, drove the hearse around like his own personal ghetto cruiser. Hooker’s Cremation and Mortuary.
His ‘prep man’ was an a other old creepy black guy that wore the old man Hooker’s older suits. The sleeves were so long, the you couldnt see the man’s hands. He apparently didnt have a driver’s license. See him out walking everywhere. We all called him “Reptile” haunched over, droopy baggy suit. Be 100 degrees, he’s be pounding the pavement 2-3 miles on his way to the funeral home.
The larger ‘white folks’ funeral home here has a retard that works the door. Has a head the size of a charleston watermelon. He gave renegade50 a handful of butterscotch candy one day.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,545 Likes: 68
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,545 Likes: 68 |
Always wanted to party crash a funeral, they always have a big party platter of Jersey Mike’s mini subs or several buckets of fried chicken. No one knows anyone. Especially it its like some old guy that worked at TVA or Trane/American Standard. 300-400 people show up. Just blend in
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Joined: Dec 2017
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2017
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My wifes urn sits on the mantel now and mine is in a gun safe waiting on me. It will be up to my son what he does after I am gone. If he would take us to the Keys a dump us in the water, that would be fine with me.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,521 Likes: 24
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,521 Likes: 24 |
You have to buy a concrete vault if you want to bury him in this cemetery." Many cemeteries require either a vault or a steel casket. It's because wood deteriorates and collapses, leaving a divot in the lawn that has to filled in later. It has nothing to do with preserving the body although some morticians might make use of the rule to sell a fancier box. FWIW, everyone in my close family has opted for cremation.
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” ― George Orwell
It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 13,281 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 13,281 Likes: 4 |
He gave renegade50 a handful of butterscotch candy one day.
Haha! The mortuary most of my family uses has candy dishes out in the visiting rooms. I guess sweets make the ordeal go down easier. I'd prefer they had a wet bar available, but the drink prices would probably be steep.
Let's Go Brandon! FJB
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 19,092 Likes: 3
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 19,092 Likes: 3 |
I knew of a black funeral parlor here in town. Pimp lookin cat was the director, drove the hearse around like his own personal ghetto cruiser. Hooker’s Cremation and Mortuary.
His ‘prep man’ was an a other old creepy black guy that wore the old man Hooker’s older suits. The sleeves were so long, the you couldnt see the man’s hands. He apparently didnt have a driver’s license. See him out walking everywhere. We all called him “Reptile” haunched over, droopy baggy suit. Be 100 degrees, he’s be pounding the pavement 2-3 miles on his way to the funeral home.
The larger ‘white folks’ funeral home here has a retard that works the door. Has a head the size of a charleston watermelon. He gave renegade50 a handful of butterscotch candy one day.
Haha. Paintin pictures with words.
Dave
�The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.� Lou Holtz
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,271 Likes: 41
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,271 Likes: 41 |
You have to buy a concrete vault if you want to bury him in this cemetery." Many cemeteries require either a vault or a steel casket. It's because wood deteriorates and collapses, leaving a divot in the lawn that has to filled in later. It has nothing to do with preserving the body although some morticians might make use of the rule to sell a fancier box. FWIW, everyone in my close family has opted for cremation. A vault is required in our cemetery so that when digging we don't disturb the dead and move their bones around. A real pain in the ass when your digging a grave and the one next to it cave and spews bones into the one you're digging.
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 5,743 Likes: 3
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 5,743 Likes: 3 |
"Lean me up beside the Jukebox, when I'm gone." My family knows, some ashes at Elk camp, the rest at fish camp! Grandson said, he hook me up to a leaf blower! For my last blow job! Smartass youngsters anyway!
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