Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Who’s a Mormon?

^^^
Far lower left side of the Bell Curve.

Joke told to me by a Mormon in-law:

If you ever take a Mormon hunting, make sure you bring two... otherwise he'll drink all your beer.

Hahaha!

You know why they bury Mormons 12 feet deep instead of 6?

Because down deep we are really good people.


A group of Baptists die one day and go to heaven. When they get there St Peter is giving them a tour and it's lush and beautiful. During the tour one looks over the edge and asks St Peter what's that place down there. He says don't look over the edge at that awful place that's he'll down there.

The Baptist says what do you mean awful place? It looks just as lush and beautiful down there as it does up here. St Peter says what? Then he looks over the edge and says "it looks like those damn Mormons are irrigating again."

Not a Rocky Mountain Jew joke but I like this next one because I've been dealing with another crooked contractor lately.

Someone dies and goes to heaven and is waiting outside the pearly gates to get it. After a few minutes StPeter shows up to let him in. On his way in the guy comments how beautiful the gates are and asks where they came from. St Peter says, "oh, we had had to go down to hell and get a contractor to put them in."

Bb

Angel Moroni and the golden plates, haha.

If you're not LDS, you belong to a non-prophet organization.

A elderly Mormon asked his doctor if he thought he’d live to be a hundred.
The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?”
“No,” he replied, “I’ve never done either.”
“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?” inquired the doctor.
“No, I’ve never done any of those things either.”
“Well then,” said the doctor, “what do you want to live to be a hundred for?
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The Dean of Women at BYU was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?" A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?"
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A Baptist a Catholic and a Mormon were talking about their families. . .
The Baptist says I have 4 kids, just one more and I'll have a basketball team. The Catholic says That's nice but I have 10 kids, one more and I'll have a football team. The Mormon says Well, I have 17 wives, one more, and I'll have a golf course.
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What's the difference between a Catholic wedding and a Mormon wedding?
At a Catholic wedding, the bride is pregnant. At a Mormon wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant.
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How are Mormons better than Catholics?
They marry the children before they molest them.
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What do you get when you cross a Jehovah Witness and a Mormon?
Someone who won't leave your porch.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a Kleptomaniac and a Mormon?

A: A basement full of stolen food.
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