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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,158 Likes: 24
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,158 Likes: 24 |
When were about 6 years into our marriage we were at a local store and she started reaming out a guy that was 3 times my size, fortunately I knew the guy quite well she just didn't know it.
When I quite laughing I asked her if she was trying to get my ass beat.
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 15,757 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 15,757 Likes: 1 |
Wife went to the gun store with me and saw a skeet shotgun and sang the skeet skeet skeet rap song, not knowing what it meant.
I got some weird looks from the staff.
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Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 9,097 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 9,097 Likes: 5 |
When wife was birthing our 3rd. Turned out the OB and I had some connections. We were just chatting about business, etc. and she suddenly screams, "I'm trying to have a baby here!"
Last edited by TimberRunner; 06/23/22.
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 25,109 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 25,109 Likes: 1 |
Wife went to the gun store with me and saw a skeet shotgun and sang the skeet skeet skeet rap song, not knowing what it meant.
I got some weird looks from the staff. I was gonna Google “skeet skeet skeet rap song”, then thought better of it.
“Life is life and fun is fun, but it's all so quiet when the goldfish die.”
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 15,757 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 15,757 Likes: 1 |
Wife went to the gun store with me and saw a skeet shotgun and sang the skeet skeet skeet rap song, not knowing what it meant.
I got some weird looks from the staff. I was gonna Google “skeet skeet skeet rap song”, then thought better of it. Apparently "shooting skeet" to them is squirting their man-naise all over some girl in the club. Wife somehow heard that song and didn't know what it meant lol But the dudes in the store did
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,205 Likes: 5
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,205 Likes: 5 |
When I actually married her to put her on my health insurance when I worked in the oilfield.
God bless Texas----------------------- Old 300 I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull Its not how you pick the booger.. but where you put it !! Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,547
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,547 |
I have a double. My wife and my sister-in-law were looking at a house plan and noted all the "Unfin. Storage" in the basement. They put their heads together and discussed, but then asked:
"What's an unfin?"
Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense. Robert Frost
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,205 Likes: 5
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,205 Likes: 5 |
I have a double. My wife and my sister-in-law were looking at a house plan and noted all the "Unfin. Storage" in the basement. They put their heads together and discussed, but then asked:
"What's an unfin?" Fish that can't swim...
God bless Texas----------------------- Old 300 I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull Its not how you pick the booger.. but where you put it !! Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,547
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,547 |
Stxhunter, one for you.
My sister was reviewing a flooring invoice and noticed a line item directed to the installer. She got all twisted up over it since the installer costs were supposed to be rolled into the carpet price. She called the company and demanded to know why LR Hall was directly paid $250.
Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense. Robert Frost
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,205 Likes: 5
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,205 Likes: 5 |
Stxhunter, one for you.
My sister was reviewing a flooring invoice and noticed a line item directed to the installer. She got all twisted up over it since the installer costs were supposed to be rolled into the carpet price. She called the company and demanded to know why LR Hall was directly paid $250. because that was probably what it was going to cost for total labor for the installer for the job, they always get on that kind of deal.
God bless Texas----------------------- Old 300 I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull Its not how you pick the booger.. but where you put it !! Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,205 Likes: 5
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,205 Likes: 5 |
I don't work for home depot /lowes that do that crap.
God bless Texas----------------------- Old 300 I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull Its not how you pick the booger.. but where you put it !! Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Apr 2022
Posts: 38
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Apr 2022
Posts: 38 |
I once left my cell phone at home when I headed to work. My wife texted me asking if I knew i forgot my phone..WTF!!!
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Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 9,138 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 9,138 Likes: 2 |
Top this...my p.o.s. pickup quit coming home from work one day, borrowed a phone and called the soon to be wife, "get a tow chain and come and get me". She did, we are heading home with the usual drama, bang, slack, jerk, rattle rattle clink tinkle, so she gets up about 30 mph finally smoothing out, the chain however came unhooked, she never even looked in the mirror, she's headin' home, I'm sitting on the side of the road seeing her disappear into the distance. She had to have made it nearly 5 miles before noticing I wasn't hooked on. We didn't talk much when she showed back up about 15 minutes later, so I hooked up again and we made it home. Haven't really brought it up over the last 45 years coward that I am.
Well this is a fine pickle we're in, should'a listened to Joe McCarthy and George Orwell I guess.
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,621 Likes: 5
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,621 Likes: 5 |
Her pinning me in the back door of my F150 with one of those Wally World gimp carts while I’m trying to load groceries. Backed up and rammed the back door, with me still in it about three time. Laughing her azz off the whole time.
Thanks to my cat like reflexes I was able to dodge her cereal bowl and a can of green beans on another occasion. But she did sucker knock me with her walker once real good while I was trying to clean up something.
Memories.
Last edited by kaywoodie; 06/24/22.
Founder Ancient Order of the 1895 Winchester
"Come, shall we go and kill us venison? And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools, Being native burghers of this desert city, Should in their own confines with forked heads Have their round haunches gored."
WS
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 39,190 Likes: 33
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 39,190 Likes: 33 |
Wife is pregnant. Goes to visit her mother for the day an hour away. No big deal. I had things to do around the apartment anyway.
2 weeks later we're all together with her parents and he mother asks me how I liked the apple pie she made? WTF? What apple pie?
Wife starts bawling.
Here she ate the apple pie, while DRIVING on the way home with her hands and stopped off at a gas station to wash them and throw out the tin before she got to the house. Never mentioned it to anyone. Ate a whole damn pie in 60 miles.
Me
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,789
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,789 |
Wife is pregnant. Goes to visit her mother for the day an hour away. No big deal. I had things to do around the apartment anyway.
2 weeks later we're all together with her parents and he mother asks me how I liked the apple pie she made? WTF? What apple pie?
Wife starts bawling.
Here she ate the apple pie, while DRIVING on the way home with her hands and stopped off at a gas station to wash them and throw out the tin before she got to the house. Never mentioned it to anyone. Ate a whole damn pie in 60 miles. That’s hard to top. Funny.
NRA Patron
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 39,190 Likes: 33
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 39,190 Likes: 33 |
Wife is pregnant. Goes to visit her mother for the day an hour away. No big deal. I had things to do around the apartment anyway.
2 weeks later we're all together with her parents and he mother asks me how I liked the apple pie she made? WTF? What apple pie?
Wife starts bawling.
Here she ate the apple pie, while DRIVING on the way home with her hands and stopped off at a gas station to wash them and throw out the tin before she got to the house. Never mentioned it to anyone. Ate a whole damn pie in 60 miles. That’s hard to top. Funny. And she wasn't/isn't a big girl. Was maybe 130 lbs at the time. Was 5 months preggo?
Me
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,833 Likes: 20
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,833 Likes: 20 |
Wife is pregnant. Goes to visit her mother for the day an hour away. No big deal. I had things to do around the apartment anyway.
2 weeks later we're all together with her parents and he mother asks me how I liked the apple pie she made? WTF? What apple pie?
Wife starts bawling.
Here she ate the apple pie, while DRIVING on the way home with her hands and stopped off at a gas station to wash them and throw out the tin before she got to the house. Never mentioned it to anyone. Ate a whole damn pie in 60 miles. That is a good one
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,647
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,647 |
Wife is pregnant. Goes to visit her mother for the day an hour away. No big deal. I had things to do around the apartment anyway.
2 weeks later we're all together with her parents and he mother asks me how I liked the apple pie she made? WTF? What apple pie?
Wife starts bawling.
Here she ate the apple pie, while DRIVING on the way home with her hands and stopped off at a gas station to wash them and throw out the tin before she got to the house. Never mentioned it to anyone. Ate a whole damn pie in 60 miles. That's funny! hahaha
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,833 Likes: 20
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,833 Likes: 20 |
Wifey took exception to something I said, chunked a plastic bottle of syrup. It missed me, exploded when it hit the wall. It made the biggest damn mess. I had to clean it up.
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