Me????
Just a good strong cup of instant coffee.
Couple of smokes outside surfing the fire on the smart phone

Bout 10 15 mins later.
Like clockwork..
Finely tuned body function routine
Once a day dumpasaurus rex on da waaaaay.
( sometimes the walk upstairs is rather hurriedly done)


Whadda you use to get the deed done???

Bran cereal dry with no milk???
Dry burnt toast???
Unripe Grapefruit w/ no sugar???
Some spoon in whatever stuff in prune juice???
Arab infant blood???
Powdered Bear penis extract???
Ect ect ect....


This need not be a " pics or it never happened " thread.....
🥴🥴🥴👍👍👍👍👍😄😄😄

Metamucil, the night before, if needed.

Coffee. Oatmeal

Trade the smokes for vegetables and cut out 90 % of meat. Like clockwork from there on out .

Well, its like this. I wake up and I just walk in the can and take s.hit. S.hit on command, its a gift.

People are too lazy to google anymore

Really?

Maybe when Slow Joe’s COVID snoops knock on your door, you can ask them about it. A fair trade, I think.

I eat an entire Little Ceasars pepperoni pizza every morning. Does the job.

We buy Angel Soft by the pallet.

No. Stay constipated until a restroom is located, then push like hell.

I'm gonna do that!!!

Nekked!!!!
👍😄😄😄😄

30 pk of old mil the night before

No idea. I just go when the mood hits me.

Coffee and Copenhagen...

Just looking at the front page of the news does it.

i just hope slum doesn't schit all over this post. there could be some useful information here and i would hate for it to get side tracked

Put a teaspoon of apple cider vineger in a tall glass of water every morning first thing and drink it. Perfect turd every time, Clean patch too.

Coffee a cigar left over on back porch from nite beFore

Big pinch of Kodiak, a Bloody Mary or a couple 'claws and a gatorade.

Works for the Jeehobahs

#🙌🏻

Next time they’ll just stick the Watchtower pamphlet in the mail box.
🤪😂🤪🇺🇸

Nicotine helps, when I was 13 yo I delivered newspapers in the morning and it never failed that when I put a chew in I had to Schitt.

A cup of joe and a chew has always got me moving in the AM as an adult. I take Metamucil in my coffee now so that I stay regular but that's it. I will say since having my Gull Bladder taken out it's a coin toss weather its solid or liquid.

Cup of coffee and release the kraken !

Coffee must be good chit!

This ^

🦫

Sure, that’s no problem. 🤪🤯

Skittles???

hahaha

Guess which one keeps me from throwin a 24 pack in the front seat and driving to Washington State. RIGHT NOW ??

lol

😂😐

The dullish orange colored one???

You win the thread....
As usual....
😡😡😡🥴🥴🥴😞😞😞😞😞

Food.

You, uh, work for Biden?

Something for breakfast and a cup of coffee…

Cashews or Pecans, never fails

It might be a good question to ask the young lady at the drive through window of the pharmacy. She's always wanting to know if I have any questions....

Do you swallow the Copenhagen or just insert it?
Asking for a friend
Old Cuss

I didn't think it was legal for men in Montana to buy White Claws. I know its illegal in Idaho.

Title made me laugh. 😅

Advice for pooping!!!!!!

Not an issue at all. I eat lot's of red meat, eggs, cheese, pretty much whatever with a limit on sweets and bread. Black coffee in the morning, dark bear at night seems to work well.

Try drinking a little water every once in awhile!!!

Viagra. That way I can take care of two bodily functions with one solution Order matters!

Holy schit. (No pun intended)

I take a few fiber chewables in the morning and again in the evening.

Tears welling up recalling the time I waited until day two. A lesson learned, the hard way.

Oh Lort!

Das a lotta dope right there!

I’m happy crapping first thing in the AM

I can schit on command.

Just hanging around the house, I’ll take 2 or 3, maybe 4, dumps a day.
Busy working, once a day. Skip a day if I gotta.

It’s a gift.....

Not a routine

But any form of cabbage or Sauerkraut will induce an evacuative effect within 20 mins.

~~~shrivers eww

I assure that Biden is not who I voted for sir. I’ve done a lot of research and know what works for me. There’s much health benefits from what I eat.

How old are you ?

I’m 71 and don’t ever use laxs.

Fresh cooked beets or some good sauerkraut.

If you’re desperate, just drink the sauerkraut juice.

Wash a big kale salad down with a big glass of milk.

It’s like media blasting your guts.

just getting the cobwebs out of the bore after 3 days in the hospital on pain meds. those things can take the fun out of a daily routine for sure. sometimes i'm glad about that prison stay in the 70's.

I usually slam a couple IPAs after I wake up ( afternoon/early evening.)

Really gets things moving.

Can't say chew or cigarettes are the answer to any of life's questions. You guys are nuts.

Damn, the 'Fire is taking a dump.

We use to eat them fiber one bars so we’d all fart like a roan hack horse of a morning. We had contests. Supvr finally had enough from all the complaints. Apparently we were quite boisterous. 🤣🤣🤣

Ain’t nuthin’ like dropping a blooter blurter from your cubicle. The resonance like St. Pauls Cathedral or Westminster!!

I wouldn’t have to eat so much, if I didn’t [bleep] so often.

When I’m backed up, I eat a pear followed by a big dip of Beech Nut Wintergreen. Set the timer, and you better be sitting on the pot with your pants down in 4min 38 seconds. If you wait any longer than 4min 40 seconds - there’s going to be some repainting to do.

Pancakes get things moving South.

I take a stool softener every night. Crap on demand when I get up and usually once after a mug of coffee.

Renegade50: I feel SO lucky to NEVER being troubled with irregularity or constipation, for all my life.
I do declare two brief exceptions - one was back when I was bitten by a Rattlesnake and resulting intravenous drugs and prescribed pain killers (which I had to take for three days!) caused me "CONSTIPATION" that was enormously painful to work through.
Dittos for another drug induced incidence of constipation several years later when (again for 3 days!) I had to ingest prescribed painkillers after total knee replacement.
Constipation, I hope you NEVER come my way again!
Hold into the wind
VarmintGuy

It's pretty simple really, you eat you schit.

LMAO !

Coffee does the same for me.
Love the stuff. But every since I had my gallbladder removed it’ll make me go within 15 or 20 minutes.

No Schit! This place is great!

All I need to do is smell coffee. Like clockwork.

What bugs me is when I’m running out the door on the last minute in the morning and THEN my gut tells me I gotta go.

No doubt !!!

I just fire up the ole I phone and read CNN for a minute or two. The BS contained therein has a sympathetic effect on my colon and voila, a dump ensues.

Usually between the first and second cup of coffee. Any problems prune juice is the solution here.

58😁😁😁

Up untill my mid twenty's that was an occasional issue.

Now, it's more about holding it in!


I miss the old days!

Only time in my life I ever had issues dropping a doak was the first week at MCRD. Man you couldn’t drive a sewing needle up my pooper!!! Then a ter a week or so, one evening after lights out a miracle occurred!!! I gave birth to a 14 pound bouncing baby turd !!!! Everything was good after that!!! Especially with a bit of SOS in the morning!

A few Budlites.

LOL. I’d be on the schitter for a week.

Back when I drank beer 25 years ago, that stuff would give me the schitts like no other.

A photo of Biden!!

[quote=Wannabebwana]Fresh cooked beets or some good sauerkraut.

If you’re desperate, just drink the sauerkraut juice.


I’d PUKE if I had to eat S kraut. Hate it.

That is the answer. Redneck speedball

A new campfire low..... with that being said, I fire up the computer first thing in the AM , log into the campfire.... well you can guess the rest... hell I do my best post on the throne...
I should take a photo for the pic's or it didn't happen thread....
#legend.... hahahahhahah

I've usually been a Three S morning sort, as in
[bleep], then shave, shower. If I didn't do the first S first thing, then when it happens, it's rigorous. Last few years, more rigor than not, so.....
Finally broke down and got some P-something like Psyillias Leaf pills at Walmart, take two or three of those after the shower, depends on how the first S went. But those pills make a difference. I just bought some Raisin Bran and am going to try that. I like cereal or other light breakfast, anyway.

Couple of McDonald’s breakfast burritos and it’s showtime.

Cocaine cut w/ mannitol...I read that on the interwebs.


mike r

I've been blessed
I've never had trouble making

It must be rough to be bound up
I'd probably be crying a lot if I
couldn't go a couple of times daily
without resorting to meds

^^^ THIS, helps a lot!!!

It can be a beatch if you’ve been dehydrated all day long.

On bicycle trips my last meal at dark was always a 50/50 mix of oatmeal and granola, eaten like cold cereal with water or milk. Fiber, without it ya might not crap again until the trip was over.

No routine. It just depends on when I reach my maximum carrying capacity. Sometimes one or two days. Usually three days and as long as five.

Back issue has things funky.
When the pain hits a certain level/ type I know I have 1 hr max to get home and take a dump.

If I havent had one before leaving the house Ill go to LGS and stand on their concrete for 30.mins, then drive home and go.

Their floor sucks.

So call it 2 to 3 hrs after wake.

My hunting bud drinks coffee and it works fast on him.

Opening day of deer season it didn't, so he was late coming over. Like 830 am. Get to spot around 9......opening day.
He felt bad so told me I could hunt the corner.

I was tagged out by 930.

We take diff vehicles nowadays. LOL
Seen him late a few times.

Good God!

When younger I was every few days.
Docs said my system was that efficient...just burned everything up.
Was very active as a kid.

Going from well to city water when visiting fam was OK, but once on city water a couple days, going back to well.got things moving. Day after switching back was brutal bomb run.

Foods never set me off, just water change snd that when I was a kid.

Nothing phased me from 20 to 50.

Now i might habe to take a crap if the wind changes direction.

It’s 7:20 a m!

"By the rumbling in my bum, something wicked this way comes!!!!"

Ahhh, the crappy coffee routine!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No usual routine, just dam appreciative of a good movement.......I find that if for some reason I miss the opportunity when it comes knocking, I likely have to wait clear to the next calling as it's not something I can recreate on my own.

I have found one sure way to induce a soul train class dump that will not wait is get decked out in about 3 layers of winter hunting garb,topped off with hip waders.....trot out to a duck blind. ..right at first legal shooting and ducks every where, that soul train is busting thru.....even with fasting for 12 hours.....

Ancient Roman toilet graffiti: "a good sh*t every day and f*ck the Doctor."

Just dropped the morning varmintguy off.

It was 3 blasts of a consistency best described as ‘watery okra’

No schitt!!

I am a 2-4x a day kind of guy.

Dunno if it's the coffee or if I just go in the mornings after coffee. Usually again late afternoon/early evening.

New job has me on 2nd shift from 3:30 PM until 2 AM so that has me off schedule right now.

Ain’t nothing quite like a good S HIT!!

Nature

Two cups of coffee in the morning and I am regular.

What a chitty conversation.
Paul B.

I put the seat down and sit.

A glass of Metamucil with water everyday so you don’t poop diarrhea.

2 times a day like clockwork. An hour after I get up and early afternoon. Get stove up a couple times a year and after 3 days I am ready to jump off a bridge. Shore feels good when she lets loose though. When we are camping my buddies all will say they are headed out to release some endorphins cause it makes you feel goooooddddd!!!!! My old uncle used to cook greasy breakfasts and he would always say "there in not enough O's in the word SMOOTH..............." haha

Well, whenever you come up this way I'll buy you a cup or mug of whatever you're drinking and we can discuss it. Fair enough?