Need to vent guys
So 57 here no kids of my own. I was adopted have nothing to do with my adopted sibling or her kids. Never will.
Found out who my birth family was and have some nieces there but to be honest only connecting with the youngest and they are ok on money.
My wife has a daughter who has made some lets say not choices her mother and I agree with in relation to her partner. It’s a girl who wants to be a guy. I mean a tit cut off job, testosterone etc. and to boot a worthless piece of welfare. Won’t keep a job and now says she applying for permanent disability even though the only thing wrong is her mental state.
So the disagreement is this. My wife does want to pass money on to her daughter. I’m having a big issue with this because I don’t want this piece of crap to live off of what I have worked my ass off to acquire. Our estimated net when we pass will be over $1 million.
What’s some options to do ? I’m sure if I die first my wife will give it all to the child. If she dies first I’ll give some but what about the rest? What are some options to do? I’ve thought a lot about my church
Thanks for letting me vent this is keeping me awake

Give the daughter whatever she will OD on.............

Surefire way to mess up an already messed up financially-strapped person is to shower them with money or an inheritance. That is an absolute truth.

You have to have a heart-to-heart with the wife. Be easier if you could find a good option for your $ before sitting down with her.

Tell your wife to do whatever she wants with the money she earned and you do the same….. for your share, give it to gun owners of America or rmef, etc??? My opinion on churches ain’t same as yours so I will keep it to myself but whatever makes you happy.

if i outlived her, the fruitcake daughter living in that lifestyle wouldn't get a dime. I would leave at all to my church.

Get a will, leave your half to a charity of your choice or individuals you feel deserving. It is easy to change your will when you change your mind.

I'm a little leery of leaving large sums to churches - seems that they mostly spend such monies on themselves. I would lean to some charity that you feel/find devotes a high percentage of gifts to actually performing good services; St. Jude's Children's Hospital and Shriners' Hospital seem good to me. If you have contact with any young people that you feel are worthy of investment (neighbor's, kids of friends, etc.) help with post-high school education/training are an option. Just my thoughts.

I need to clarify that I am only speaking to the situation in question. For ourselves, we intend to live comfortably and leave whatever remains to our son, who we not only love, but who has demonstrated that any such funds will be handled responsibly.

Seek out a worthwhile charity that aligns with your values and will be t to them. If that is your church, then great! You could divide it up among several. You’d only hurt the daughter by willing it to her judging by your description.

You could always set up a scholarship endowment. There are many good options.

That’s where I’m at
I’ve also drawn up a will that states if the stepdaughter marries a real man and he is stable has a job then it goes to them
Until then it is set up in a trust (mainly to make sure my adopted sibling and her kids can’t try to steal it)that has rules such as random drug testing for both and get so much money every 5 years but if fail drug test it’s done
This was the first compromise my wife and I came up with, but the bigger question sti is what to do with it
No to most charities as they are a joke and no the the gun or nra
Have some friends with kids that are close to us but then they aren’t hurting for money either
This is the struggle what do to with it

You are 57. Spend it. Enjoy it.

Why not spend some on yourselves? Go on a safari, buy a camper and travel the country, buy a winter place where it’s warm.

Spend it...or an endowment, donation to something you both believe in (st. Jude or whatever)...

Up to you.

Also, museums..can donate a trust in a lot of ways.

I believe I’d find another use for my money if I was so worried about administering drug tests, who they marry, their jobs etc…

You need to talk with an attorney who specializes in these financial situations they will have contacts. Make sure you hire a shark that hates Gold Diggers.

Nothing against your wife but obviously you two are not on the same page on this and these types of situations can cause the end of marriages as both of you stew on this.

Don't think she might have not already thought about splitting and getting as much as she can to pass on no matter what happens.

I've seen this exact type of this happen several times over the decades in blended families.

Always better to be prepared no matter what happens.

Maybe a donation to whatever schools you and you wife grew up with?

Lots of private schools out there too...

Hardway most excellent suggestion.

^

This is the approach we're taking.

We haven't really inherited much of anything, which is cool because at least my wife and my parents were self sufficient to the end, which is probably one of the best gifts parents can give their kids.

We've only got our son, and between our pensions and SS we really won't need the money I've got in my IRAs, that plus real-estate is fast approaching the $2 mil mark.

So we've had a heart to heart, I'm helping out through his getting his masters. There will be enough money to take care of my wife no matter what, but I'm about to start working off my bucket list while I'm still able to hike etc. So an Elk hunt this year, a plains game safari next year, then another elk hunt etc.

He will inherit something, that's guaranteed. We've got a living trust established so should something happen to both of us, he'll get the remainder when he turns 30. IAW our lawyer, IF he hasn't sorted out priorities by then.. he never will. I'm not worried in the least, pretty bright kid already has a ROTH IRA going and saves some of what he makes.

$1M in trust will generate around $50K in annual interest, which would be a nice scholarship endowment or funding for an endowed chair at the college and department of your choice.

That million will get eaten up with nursing homes and hospital bills.
Enjoy it now, know your wife will be taken care of, but what little will be left won’t be much.

I don’t think he wants to fuel that fire.

If you die before your wife, You won't care what she decides.
If She goes first, do what you want. She won't know or care. It's your money, do what you want.

If you want your heirs to have something of yours, give it to them before you die.

Donate it to the political campaign of your choice.

Politician know how to spend money wisely.

Snark Snark (sarcasm font off now)

I'm leaning like some others. Put whatever aside, if any, you deem fitting for the daughter and use the rest money to enjoy the fruits of your labor the way you choose to.

AS fats pointed out, if your wife is not on the same page as you and your desires, seek counseling as there will be issues in my experience.

I know from your other posts you like IA, but personally I'd be thinking of a move to a nicer State. Something with mountains and elk and such, and not so much corn and flat land.

Guys, here's a reality check as it relates to this subject.

When a parent begins leaving the stove on, falling down alot, ending up in the hospital for all of the above and more, things change dramatically, financially, and quick. You go from a senior living at a home that's paid for to assisted living where they make sure parent takes their pills, check on them several times a day, etc for about $8K a month. When the parent can't be left alone for whatever myriad of reasons, full time care 24/7 caregiver runs $20K plus a month, plus whatever the residence cost, plus living expenses.

This adds up to to $25K a month, $300K a year. A million bucks is basically three years care.

Do you have a Last Will and, if so, what does it specify?

If you don't it won't matter what you and she agree to do today because she will get it all regardless. If you do, she can choose to take an Elective Share of whatever the Will specifies doesn't go to her so she'll get 1/3 of that even if she doesn't contest it.

Spend it on yourself or spend it on lawyers to make sure it goes to strangers later...choice seems clear.

Sadly, as long as you are married, whichever of you lives the longest will decide where the money eventually goes.

Child Fund is a good charity.

For your personal future, there are insurance programs, shop wisely.

Places I know let you move in at 70. You give them 800k cash. You get a very nice condo in a very nice complex. You stay in that condo until you die, or need assisted living at which time they move you into a unit on that side of the same property. All inclusive. When you pass, any money you haven’t used gets paid back out to who you choose. Just an option.

Other than that, get out and enjoy this planet! It’s a one and out deal! Enjoy yourselves! Leave a bump for the kid and as someone else said St. Jude’s for children and the Shriners children’s hospital are wonderful places. All kids deserve a shot.

My only caution is whatever you do lock it in in concrete, twice. With a stepdaughter and “partner” like she has you know they’ll go to extremes to get it all.

There is only one thing more sacred to me than what one chooses to do with their hard earned gains in their one and only visit on this earth, and that’s what you choose to have done with your remains.
Make sure both issues are locked in stone, twice over.

Good luck
Osky

lol we differ there I want to go north, always wanted Minnesota or Wisconsin til they turned so liberal, if Iowa had more lakes would move further north here
Have got it down now to move north then rent her a place a in Florida for a couple months a year
Yes I know the costs of assisted living just got done with my mothers. Yes will spend some on us for sure and with my withdrawal plan there won’t be much left after 75 except for assets and saved cashed and if there is SS. Life insurance expires at 75 as well

Hookers and blow

Start reading about Trusts. An irrevocable trust would be the most safe way to protect you from the “Wolves”. Most people who receive large amounts of money usually destroy themselves and others by poor choices in life. A friend of mine has a stepson that inherited 3 houses paid for that was originally bought by the grandparents. In 6 months the money/ houses were all gone. The kid ended up living in a cargo container and was a car salesman at the time. I could go on and on about these typical scenarios. A standard trust can be worthless as if you have health problems , a person listed in the estate , ( including but not limited to) can file the paperwork to take over your estate. I’ve seen this twice. In my own situation, no wife or kids, I intend to leave most or all to the library in the town I finally reside in. Your current wife should be protected by giving her life tenancy in the house you have. You need to be fair with her.

As a Christian, I’m sure you are very much aware of the funds need for Christian organizations to fulfill their missions.

And waste the rest of it

As long as they don’t include smuggling illegal aliens into the US, or providing succor once they are here I’d agree.

It’s not just the papists and Lutherans, even the Mormons are balls deep in it. At least in my little corner of the world.

I’d shy away from any religious contribution.

Spend it Die with memories and share those memories with who you want to someone that will cherish the memories you made with them long after you are gone. That's where I am at. Next week I am taking my brother and his wife to Panama. I know they couldn't afford it but I wanted him to experience this place with me and meet the friends I've made there. So we are traveling the country for 10 days

That’s awesome

Spend your money while you're living. I've got kids and grandkids that I love, but they need to make it on their own. If they get any money from us when we are dead, it will just be because we couldn't figure out how to spend it all.

What happens to the money once you are dead, who cares. You'll be dead. You can give it to a good cause but that doesn't mean they will use it in a way you'd approve.

Dying with a big ole pile of money in the bank won't impress anyone. You made it. Enjoy it.

I would hate to love my money more than my wife, or stepdaughter.

It’s not about love for my wife or for her daughter it’s for the freeloading piece of crap the daughter is with
The daughter will get something it’s just how much

IA Fog: Good luck with settling this issue FAR IN ADVANCE of when it should come about!
I suggest allowing your wife to give her HALF of the estate to whomever she wants and that YOU dedicate your HALF of the estate to charities/causes/organizations that you choose.
There is half a chance (sadly) that your wife will outlive you and she could decide to bequeath ALL of the family estate to her daughter (this is the sad part!).
Like others have suggested make YOURSELF happy with your accumulated wealth to the extent YOU decide to.
The VarmintWife and I have settled this "estate" business via wills. We have taken care of our four VarmintChildren and with the rest of our monies we are busy vacationing, travelling, visiting distant relatives, driving new dependable cars, enjoying our hobbies and staying on top of our health care.
Again good luck in getting this issue settled to you and your wifes desires.
57.... you're just a kid - I think you have 40 more years to get this in order and I think you should not even worry about this for another 13+ years!
Hold into the wind
VarmintGuy

Like that famous bumper sticker on a Winnebago, "We're spending our children's inheritance".....

Seriously, a good atty and you guys getting together with a will that reflects your values and wishes. Life's too short to be worrying about all that, get it set in stone.

DF

We just split everything equally among the kids. And real estate is to transfer on death. Keeps them out of probate in our state! I have faith they will be frugal as they are now.

Sounds like you raised good kids with values! Parenting is a skill in its own.

Society of Saint Vincent DePaul. My wife makes food deliveries for this organization. They try to weed out the people that don’t actually need help.

Spend it. Trips, toys, gifts to close friends…..

There are 1001 missions that need funding, that are quite righteous and free of junk listed above.

Spend it before you die...

Sounds to me the familial relationship is very important to your wife.

Perhaps a good way to address that is to create a trust upon death for the benefit of any grandchildren. College, first house, first car, that sort of thing. That way, the dead beat is taken out of the cycle.

I don't think it's wrong to want your money to do the most good after you are gone. What concerns me is that you have so much resentment for the daughter that you don't want her to have it. Maybe she is a real piece of crap, but she is your piece of crap via your wife. What I would like to see here is you and your wife trying to figure out how to set up that inheritance to help her overcome being a piece of crap and restrict it to do the least damage to herself or anyone else until she is more responsible.

Well , your gonna give the daughter money in the end. Why don’t you give her say $2000 now. The stipulation is she has to invest in in stocks. She has to keep it in stocks for 5 years. On a a year you and your wife audit her and give her advice. If daughter does ok in the market and does not spend it, all of you will have learned a lesson. If she blows the money, you will most likely adjust her part of your estate . Your thoughts? Alan

"spend it before you die", because everyone knows exactly how long they are going to live and what level of care they will need, how much it will cost, and for how long!

LOLOLOL

First, This ... ^^^^^^^ You and your wife worked for it. Enjoy it.



Then, This ... ^^^^^^^

Wife and her sister were co-executrices for their uncle. Same situation. Average guy. Married 60 years. No kids. Lived modestly. Saved along the way. Invested well... Left money to a number of churches, cemetery boards, Christian charitable organizations, and family members. No one got a huge amount of money. But, as it says in Proverbs: "Cast your bread upon the waters..."

This is a question for an attorney that knows the ins and outs of trusts and wills in your state. Each state has its own laws. My wife and I have wills. I need to go to one myself.
The right kind of trust can protect your assets from the sharks that come after old peoples money.

Do NOT leave your money or property to a church or a nonprofit. Big mistake to do so. Find a nice normal family and set your part aside for them while allowing your wife use of the house for her lifetime. Don’t tell anyone except for a trusted person who will receive a fair payment for his trouble.

Donate it to a dog shelter.

It’s not resentment for daughter it’s the piece of crap she with, if the “other” party was respectable held a job , wasn’t a drain on welfare and society wouldn’t have a problem leaving it all but the freeloadr would blow it without the daughter getting any good out of it. And no grandchildren from her daughter to bypass too or that would solve it. We keep hearing that they want to impregnate and we keep praying that she wishes up first
Unless anyone of you have been real close to a transgender I don’t believe you can understand the mental issues then you too that with the desires for the welfare freeloader attitude it just makes u sick

Spend it. Problem solved.

I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like you’re going to need it or miss it. Life is too short to worry about trying to control people and things you don’t need beyond the grave. Live well, but not needlessly extravagantly and leave her what is left. If she blows it, so be it. You won’t know nor care. But maybe she’ll use it to better herself or dump this idiot and put herself in a better situation. No need to worry about it either way.

St Judes or other such places of the same ideology can always use money.

Find someone you know that can genuinely use help and will appreciate it. Set it up in a trust and set guidelines for dispersments. Maybe some neighbor kid who's a good kid but had a rough start. Set it up to pay tuition or trade school. Maybe a kid gets a dollar towards tuition for every dollar he earned from a legitimate job. Most big charities just pay themselves big salaries. Sponsor a kid you know and die knowing you made a difference in someone's life you knew. Make sure you enjoy a little yourself too. Take a trip or live a little.

I've got my own kids I'm really worried about leaving enough for to help them get a start. If I didn't have my own i could easily think of a few that would be good ones to help.

Start a scholarship fund for kids who's dads didn't leave them anything because they wasted too much time on the campfire. The kids of the campfire scholarship fund.

Bb

I guess I could look after it for you.

Take some of that cash and spend it on getting the daughter help and straightened out, that'll be some of the best money you ever spent. If she refuses tell her there will be no inheritance.

Fits in well with "spend any money as soon as you get it because it's never going to have as much buying power as it has today".

I plan on leaving a bunch to St Jude's hospital. They care for kids with cancer, and cover all costs including parental accommodations, travels, etc. Danny Thomas had the right idea.

Campfire kids fund.

Funny.

DF

I am always amazed that folks won't spend time and MONEY with a proper trust attorney that will walk their clients to a sensible solution.

How would you "straighten" her out?

Hell yeah.


Wtf is wrong with people?

Speaking of reality, who wants to go into an old folks home with all the rest of the half demented geezers, often running into you with their wheel chairs, spitting big slimey throat oysters onto the table, stealing the few familiar things you brought with you from home, watching them spoon the mashed potatoes onto their heads and trying to eat the gravy with their fingers at dinner, defecating and urinating all over themselves in the teevee room, having some illegal alien who smells of stale garlic and tequila changing your Depends five times a day, hobbling around all day with droopy drawers, never having any freedom nor even a good home cooked meal of your favorite foods, your main activity trying to put together a jig saw puzzle that has a dozen missing pieces, unable to toss a line in the lake to try and catch a fish, or take a walk in the forests and mountains of yesteryear that you enjoyed so much ............. ?

No, It seems to me that when a man notices what's happening to him, (Fireball's "reality check above) if he's considerate of himself and his family, it would be time to eat his .38.

My opinion.

L.W.

Just remember, if you or your wife ever need long term nursing care or assisted living for any length of time, it's easy to burn through your life's savings. Some places can cost up to 10,000 bucks a month, but around here there are some real good ones for 5000 to 6000 per month per person. It doesn't take long to go through money that way. With that much money, you could also pay people to care for you in your own home. Save it for you, and don't hesitate to live as comfortable as you can.

You are right. That is why it is extremely important to buy long term care insurance. My brother who is virtually an invalid at home, is using the long term care insurance he and his wife took out years ago.

It has saved them thousands and thousands of $$$$$$$$$.

Look into it, boys and girls. Some day you might be extremely happy you have it.

FWIW.

L.W.

All I can add is to keep abreast of the costs
of the funeral services desired and have
adequate insurance to cover it.
It got me bad when my mother passed a
while back, and pretty much ruined me
financially to get her in the ground

Lots of good advise as usual. The 'fire always gives.

Speaking of reality, who wants to go into an old folks home with all the rest of the half demented geezers, often running into you with their wheel chairs, spitting big slimey throat oysters onto the table, stealing the few familiar things you brought with you from home, watching them spoon the mashed potatoes onto their heads and trying to eat the gravy with their fingers at dinner, defecating and urinating all over themselves in the teevee room, having some illegal alien who smells of stale garlic and tequila changing your Depends five times a day, hobbling around all day with droopy drawers, never having any freedom nor even a good home cooked meal of your favorite foods, your main activity trying to put together a jig saw puzzle that has a dozen missing pieces, unable to toss a line in the lake to try and catch a fish, or take a walk in the forests and mountains of yesteryear that you enjoyed so much ............. ?

Geez, Leanwolf. Your evocative writing hasn't left you.

This.

I gotta keep my hand in.

L.W.

Leanwolfs take on it. I think Stephen Hawkings enjoyed his life somewhat. He had it pretty rough. You have to have a purpose.

Suzi Orman has a good book on trusts. Read it, arm yourself with knowledge, then go to a trust attorney. You will be able to understand it better and also know if your attorney is worth a Schitt.

This!


>>——>


You should enjoy some of the fruits of your labors.

This, heck yeah, you have a lot of time left to spend and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Just because you married someone doesn't mean you have to reward their offspring. Honestly, I'd have a hard time leaving a dime to someone else's kid who obviously doesn't love or respect God. Pray for that girl. Pray for her every day, and leave your money to whomever you believe will use that money to further God's kingdom. Not that He needs it, but just because. It will be a blessing.

Get a good long term care insurance policy. If one of you need long term care, that will eat up your assets more than anything else. Protect what you have so maybe there will be something left to pass along however you see fit.

I guess some people believe that there is a life after life (as I do), but I am not opposed to enjoying the fruits of our labor while we are here on this earth either.

OP, if you’re 57, unless you’re planning on dying in the near term, you have no way to estimate your net worth at death.
If you have no one to leave it to, why would you plan on dying with a cent to your name? Enjoy it while youre living, if nothing else find people that are truly deserving that could use it as an opportunity to better themselves and give it away while you’re alive to be able to enjoy what it does for someone.

She's obviously mentally ill and with the right docs she could be helped.

You're not wrong.

That is exactly how I see it...

Do the good work... for the good people...

Finding "the good people" is no small task.

Late to the party but St Judes would be my choice.

It's fun watching threads like this and noting the reaction of those who would spend money on literally anything before supporting a church. They would smear you for dropping $100 into a plate but not say a word if you spent that same amount on drinks.

The vast majority of hometown churches are above board and worthy of support, but you'll never see that on the news. This is the same news that most of the folks here would call "fake".

I would absolutely NOT leave my money to a church or mission. Pick out a good family that is striving to do well with more children than they can afford to educate. Set up fund to help educate the kids. And don’t restrict the education to colleges. There is work to be done in building, plumbing, HVAC, etcetra.

There are way too many shysters in the religion business.

In my state of Louisiana your wife’s estate will go to her blood relatives in order of succession starting with her child, next are her parents, next are her siblings unless she has a will.

In this state the spouse is last in the line of succession next to the state.

1234mag: Really bad idea. Extorting her with the inheritance ain’t going to work. She will just underground with her homosexuality or tell you to FOAD. Just write yourself a will and don’t bother her or yourself and especially your wife with trying to change her same sex attraction.

this is very true.....I am glad I have my long term care in place....bob

You nailed it with the closing sentence!

Certainly feel for you in regards to the daughter.

As to "leaving" money, I hope to spend and enjoy, in the event I can't spend it all, we have set up legally how the cash will be distributed. And yes, some will go to churches. It's hard for me to understand how a person can attend church for decades, yet be skeptical of leaving that church money.

For every disgusting pastor or church or priest out there, there are thousands of good ones in my opnion.

St. Judes Children's hospital is lights out drop the mic good.
and lastly, Tunnels to Towers.

Excellent post!!!!!!!!!

I would be interested in what kind of docs and how successful they were.

She needs a good woodworker ,brother Jim

I would bet one of them would be a rehab doc, the other would probably be a psychologist. I'm assuming drugs are involved as drugs and mental illness usually go hand in hand.

Guys the stepdaughter isn’t the one who wants ton be a guy her partner is. Once again i could tolerate for family reasons if the other party was respectable and genuine but it isn’t . That is the hold up and problem
Yes im planning on spending as Mucha s we can and not be in the poor house and my goal is to have nothing when i die

Hookers and blow

And if hookers and blow isn't the route, then I'd likely do the following. l

I'm going to do what is needed to care for my family, to ensure my wife will want for little, because I love her. If it's what she wants and she out lives me, I won't care, because I'll be dead. If I outlive my wife, then I'll do what I want, because my wife will no longer care, because she is dead.

I don't do things based on 'guilt' for the dead, because they are dead.

That's it.

Those not used to managing money usually destroy themselves when they suddenly come into wealth. Their lack of emotional intelligence means they only focus on their own immediate emotional wants, which always outstrips the money available to them. As an example, there was a chunt secretary to the CEO at my then employer. She won five million dollars in the lottery and gleefully told us all to suck it. A couple years later, she was back again working as a secretary but now divorced and broke. Hubby (and probably her to a certain extent) got into drugs, bought a bunch of stupid crap. Went on extremely lavish vacations spending hundreds of thousands each time, etc. Later, she stated she wished she never had won that money.

You hit the nail on the head Ben! If a person had idiot kids that you actually cared about, one would set up a trust with a generation skipping transfer. That way the idiot kids could not sell the house since it’s not theirs. They would only have life tenancy . I had a friend that inherited a good chunk of money. Other 2 brothers got nothing. My friends youngest son was into drugs, no job. Friend let his son move into a house he inherited. About a year later the city was going to condemn the house. Garbage piled up in the backyard and constant drug traffic. My friend kicked out the son and sold the house for Penny’s on the dollar. Friend then adopts the sons daughter. Moves the granddaughter into his house. Granddaughter is about 15 . Buys her a phone, etc, etc. granddaughter has $700 a month phone bills. Her friends come over and begin stealing stuff. Granddaughter gets knocked up by a deadbeat. Friend allows deadbeat to move in his home. Deadbeat starts beating granddaughter. Deadbeat is tossed out. Granddaughter has baby and is stealing from my friend. At that time I ended my friendship with the old guy. It made me sick just being around it. Friend just died and I have mixed feelings about it . It’s hard to fix brooken people!

I think of money as an amplifier. It amplifies the good in good people, the bad in bad people, the stupid in the rest.

You really need to find out how the tunnels to towers CEO who is the brother of a dead fireman became a multi millionaire. He won't disclose the info but he sure was not one before forming that "non profit".

The same scenario usually plays out with the majority of non profits. Even our beloved NRA and Billy and Franklin Graham

I concur. Money doesn’t change you. It amplifies who you really are.

The most valuable thing my father taught me was the judicious use of money. He did not pay interest and understood that money could easily leave mostly undetected in small amounts for things you don't need.

Arithmetic is your friend and will inform you as to what will work and what won't. As Ben Franklin said "watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves'' and ''a small leak will sink a big ship''.

To care about what happens with wealth after one is dead is the ultimate definition vanity.

Amen. The same with age. Age doesn't make one a prick. If you're a prick at 70, it's because you were one at 20.

That I do not agree with. I have children and grandchildren that I want to help along. They are well educated and self supporting and the grandchildren are doing well in school.

To care about what happens with wealth after one is dead is the ultimate definition vanity.[/qoute

Jake look at it as a principal. If the transtard wants to live free milk the system why in the world would I want to help promote that

Not unlike alcohol.

I understand and agree, but the point remains, who know what will happen with it after you are gone. He's not talking about HIS children and the wife will do what she will do.

Again, deal with the living and don't worry about it when you're dead, because you're dead.

You're dead, it's no longer your concern. Again, vanity.

If you are REALLY that concerned, you would kill them whilst you are living, right?

You have a duty to your family to try to leave them a little better off. You do not have the right nor should you concern yourself with trying to control them after you are gone.

Kill no but if I could legally find a way to get that idoit kicked out of unemployment and stop this lie of disability I sure as hell would

Find a local community college or university and fund a scholarship for whatever you want to fund it for. Could be Wildlife management, gunsmithing, nursing, etc. Help out a young person who wants to better their station in life. You set the parameters on the scholarship. That is what my wife and I plan to do if things don’t work out as planned.

What if the stepdaughter's partner ends up getting a scholarship from that endowment? I guess you could exclude transgenders from being eligible .

Not trying to be a smart ass,
but if I were 57 & had a net worth of 1mil.
I wouldn't be worried about how much I was leaving anyone.
I'd be more worried about it being enough for the next 35 years at my house.
Sadly, a million in today's dollars is not what it was 40 years ago & it ain't gonna get better, I fear.
My .02

You could buy some land and then leave it to a trust to be put into a public hunting program.

👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻

Sent it on ahead.

Agree, I think the best thing a person could do is remodel your home mainly bathrooms to improve use if disabled. Walkways for wheelchair. If moneys permit, a separate guest quarters to hire someone to help you when your not able. With the cost of old folks homes, I think their will a increase in this type of home designs. I met a young couple that got a girl/ student from another country on a student visa and she lives with the couple and helps take care of their new baby. There are a lot of options if folks think things through.

Spitballin' here..
How about cut off a fat slice for Rick Bin with the stipulation that he has to axe all the sock puppets!

In certain ways, yes.

But if a person works and sacrifices their entire life for their family. When they pass, to want the best for said family in natural. And if you see a parasite hanging onto one of your heirs, it is very troublesome for many. Would be for me. The worry that your sacrifices won't be going to benefit your kids or heirs, but to some freak that has attached itself to an heir, that is disconcerting.

Jackie Chan expressed that he would prefer to donate his fortune to charitable causes rather than bestow it upon his son. “If he is capable, he can make his own money. If he is not, then he will just be wasting my money,” Chan said.


Party like you worked your whole life to do so.

The way it reads to me is that the man doesn't approve of the stepdaughters choices or her lifestyle. So why should he fund it in perpetuity?
Whatever money she gets she will undoubtedly be handing over to/sharing with the tranny. They will probably be donating it to BLM or tranny story time at the library..

I can think of a lot better things to do with money than that.

I have a SIL who is trash. Smokes more dope than cheech and chong combined. Started giving it to her kids by age 12 to cslm them down.

Her well house froze on the home she was GIVEN. She asked me for help and I told her to dig to the first joint in the pipe and I'll be by to fix it....no charge and I will buy the supplies.

She told me she doesn't need that kind of carma and refused. She has two adult kids living at home and the 3 of them went 4 months without water after she burned the pump down flowing water into the ground.

The inlaws paid for her well repair and an extra $8k to get on her feet. She hasn't worked in the last 7 years.

I made it 100% clear that I'd be happy to buy her a pair of glove to work in, but I would be hurting her to give her $.

I completely understand.

Thank you for understanding my position

A duty?


Please.

Go plant a frigging tree or something.

Well, given previous generations and my generation have created a mess for my kids, I will do what it takes to help them get a leg up on life. I would like the give them at least the equivalent of a house when I pass.

University, home ownership, and life in general is expensive at no fault of their own.

👊🏻

My wife's family six kids when the wife mom went and dad went the lawyers could not believe the amount of money that they left charities that helped them back in the fifties and sixties then the kids split up the other 40% I'm talking pretty big bucks more went to charities then the kids... lawyer still shaking his head...
.. I'd stop working now and start taking big trips I'd be fishing in every continent >>>I'll be whacking penguins with a club in Antarctica... then way up north whacking away at seal pups up top of Canada... Bone fishing off Xmas Island...
anything to burn it up

You guys are sweet.


In various other threads you/we bitch about the lazy no good younger generation who won't work and wants everything given to them.

By golly no one ever helped us and we turned out great.



Next thread comes around and we have to eat porridge and Ramen so we can give the kids everything they want because times are tough and little Johnny needs help and it's our duty to make sure our kids don't have to work as hard as us.


It gets hard to take the outrage seriously.

There’s no outrage. Just personal opinions, and personal choices. Yours may be different than mine on this matter. So be it.

My father left me about $110,000. At the time I was doing well enough on my own but did want to honour him in how I spent it so I paid off my daughter's student loan and cleared my mortgage. Being debt free changed our lives. I continued to save what I was spending on our mortgage in a TaxFreeSavingsAccount and now have more than what he gifted me in savings while approaching my retirement.

All because of good business practices.

Job well done! Your father would be proud!

I'm somewhat with you here.

Wife and I started off with a net-negative worth and in some decent debt. I only ever received a few thousand from an inheritance that bought us some furniture.

I watch people who have had the benefit of true generational wealth that utilize it well, and I realize the odds of me being able to achieve a position of wealth/comfort equivalent to them are pretty steep.

Like you said, even just providing the equivalent of a home to start off with is a huge bump for them.

But I have seen plenty of kids not utilize that inheritance well at all.

My wife and I are of the mind we would like to provide the kids a pretty decent jump start when it is our time. But the best thing we can do is what we are doing now. Forcing them to pay for their own college education. Expecting them to have a job and be working when they have time. Not blowing what little money they have on stupid BS stuff. Not spoiling them with new vehicles. Lavish holidays and vacations etc. Trying to set the foundation that when the time comes, if we are able to leave them something, they will use it to build and not float along in life. If that makes sense?

My kids aren't paupers by any means. We have helped them plenty. But that help came after expectations we laid out were met.

Just think of all the guns over your lifetime that you liked but didn't buy.

But you say, my safe is full. Maybe it's time to go shopping for a new safe, a really big one.

Gotta think outside the box, probably need a bigger box, anyway.

The one who dies with the most toys, wins....

DF

I've heard that before, but I'm pretty sure on our deathbeds, we won't be wishing for another rifle.

Food for thought.

Good strategy! Toys/ hobbies are good therapy.

Jim, it's OK to want your offspring to be assisted a little. Whether it's paying for their wedding or giving them a down-payment on a house.

If not, that's OK too.

Rocket science eh?

For decades, I always thought of non-profits as fake entities created by blacks to rip off other blacks.

St Jude's is not a joke charity

Apparently for you two it is.

The way I see it, a kid will need 60-80k for university. (Probably on the low end). 40-80k for a down payment on a house if they don’t want to get into the cycle of renting. 20k for a semi decent vehicle. Yes there are other ways of doing it, but that’s what getting started in life costs today. And those costs don’t even factor in that everything else has considerably gone up in cost due to my generation and generations before me. Boomers/X’rs got theirs at the expense of everyone behind them.

I was one of the last to get into my industry before it got locked up. They won’t even come close to having the same opportunities I had.

I will have no problem helping my kids out. I don’t expect the government to, that’s my job.

Your kids seem to be pretty happy. You and their mother seem to be doin’ a very good job with em’. Keep after it. God love and bless ALL of y’all.

I have been wondering some about inheritance.

Instead of giving them all the money at once....I wonder why a person couldn't help with mortgage payments.

Help with a new car? Pay the water bill?

Just thinking.

I concur. 👊🏻