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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 46,965
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 46,965 |
Keep your clothes on in the light.
We may know the time Ben Carson lied, but does anyone know the time Hillary Clinton told the truth?
Immersing oneself in progressive lieberalism is no different than bathing in the sewage of Hell.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,550
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,550 |
Keep your clothes on in the light. Please.
Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense. Robert Frost
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 6,067 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 6,067 Likes: 1 |
Cover with duct tape... just explain that you had an outbreak of warts and the duct tape makes them go away.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,927
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,927 |
Sounds like your dominatrix was a little rougher than usual.... did you not pay your bill?
Use camo duct tape for everything.
Keep your gun-hand ready and your eyes peeled.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,559 Likes: 3
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,559 Likes: 3 |
Stick a bunch of ticks on it. Clyde
The liberal mind is an endless black hole of stupidity.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,895 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,895 Likes: 1 |
At least 3-4000 mg Vitamin C per day and "Arnicaflora" gel. Any arnica gel should work but GNC usually carries this one. Vitamin C is said to be water based and as such doesn't store in the tissue but if you use too much the the term loose as a goose will come to mind. Good luck. Vitamin C in large doses will thin the blood. That's the opposite of what he needs.
Old Turd- Deplorable- Unrepentant Murderer- Domestic Violent Extremist
Just "Campfire Riffraff and Trash"
This will be my last post! Flave 1/3/21
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,773
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,773 |
so.....what/where are the bruises? Shoulders and biceps... Administered by Baroness Von Stern, from the Castle of Dominance?
Not many problems you can't fix With a 1911 and a 30-06
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 8,514
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 8,514 |
Here ya go,Brother Bart.Dont say I never done nothing for ya. this should do the job
Last edited by fluffy; 04/14/10.
********************** [the member formerly known as fluffy}
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,670 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,670 Likes: 1 |
dang fluffy,
up to this point I had a nice mental image of Bart with his newly shaved junk, tampon hanging out his belly, rubbing creams and salves on his bruises while combing them and lookin thru the phone book for vampires and leech dealers!
but you spoiled it, two of those and a new Harley problem solved
"This ain't dress rehearsal....it's the life you get to live, make it a good one."
TEAMWORK = a bunch of people doing what I say
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 8,514
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 8,514 |
dang fluffy,
up to this point I had a nice mental image of Bart with his newly shaved junk, that bird dont fly
********************** [the member formerly known as fluffy}
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,670 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,670 Likes: 1 |
oh and Bart,
for future reference it would be helpful if we had video of the bruises being administered.
probably be able to give you better solutions
it's the scientific approach
"This ain't dress rehearsal....it's the life you get to live, make it a good one."
TEAMWORK = a bunch of people doing what I say
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,550
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,550 |
up to this point I had a nice mental image of Bart with his newly shaved junk, tampon hanging out his belly, rubbing creams and salves on his bruises while combing them and lookin thru the phone book for vampires and leech dealers! A "nice" mental image? Dude, I fear you have caught it.
Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense. Robert Frost
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,589
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,589 |
P.S. Here's the other part: 'Baby I'm ashamed to admit it but the truth is that I missed you so much I guess I went and overdid it with the booze the other night. What with all the loneliness and all, I just had a moment of weakness. I'm only human, after all. Anyway, I guess halfway through the night I musta' gotten up out of bed with a screaming case of the hungry horrors or dehydration, and on my way to the kitchen the damned dog ran in front of my stagger and I fell into the tool box/coat rack/dining table...' Or tell her you missed her so much you over did it and show her your hand and say to her: "Look here it's growing hair on the palm of my hand!".
de 73's Archie - W7ACT
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 22,159 Likes: 6
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 22,159 Likes: 6 |
You boys sure assume alot...And.... Why does my junk itch?
---------------------------------------- I'm a big fan of the courtesy flush.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
Did you use Florida Orange Juice?
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293 |
That itching is normal, should only last 2 or 3 weeks.
Something clever here.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,670 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,670 Likes: 1 |
You boys sure assume alot...And.... Why does my junk itch? whoaaaa podner! I ain't going there, whether JOG thinks I've caught "it" or not! am thinking it'll take more than the pocket comb to allieviate that though. am almost afraid to ask, but here goes is the itch internal or external? perhaps a worldly man like isaac can help? or maybe that link fluffy provided has those sleeves available for small arms?
"This ain't dress rehearsal....it's the life you get to live, make it a good one."
TEAMWORK = a bunch of people doing what I say
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,773
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,773 |
You boys sure assume alot...And.... Why does my junk itch? No worry. It'll quit itching when it falls off.
Not many problems you can't fix With a 1911 and a 30-06
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,788
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,788 |
+1.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,811
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,811 |
Go borrow a 10 gauge single shot and let the new girl shoot it once. She'll then understand how you got bruised on your shoulder and bicep...don't ask how I know.
Now covering up the scratch marks on your back is another story.
"I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man." --Robert Duvall. "Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!" --John Wayne. ~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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