So predictable it's boring. Come on Clark, you need to up your game.
How bout jail time? Assault with a deadly weapon with some supporting media releases, house fire, wife murdered, children kidnapped, paralyzed from the neck down, severed appendage, burned head, grossly disfigured by an industrial accident, parents taken hostage by the Mexican drug cartels, airplane crash, tornado, sister abducted by bright lights, something.
Tree stand fell with you in it, hit by a car, struck by lightning, piano fell out a 4th story window on your head, car crushed by a meteor, attacked by grizzly bear while paintballing him drunk, crashing a college party and getting busted for contributing to the delinquency of a minor, gas explosion at home, welding accident, spear through your head, gangrene of the penis, frostbite, spontaneous combustion, poltergeist in the house, rat invasion, insurance fraud, federal arrest warrant, loss of swimming pool privileges, something.
This one deserves mention. I laughed so hard it hurt.
