CRS...would suggest you find a good shop that has a Government, Combat Commander and Commander in stock and see how you like the balance. My favorite is the Commander that has an aluminum frame in .38 Super which is basically a 9mm on steroids... One can also switch out barrels to have a two caliber gun...

https://www.colt.com/detail-page/col-combat-commander-9mm-425

https://www.colt.com/series/COMPETITION_SERIES

https://www.colt.com/detail-page/wiley-clapp-commander-9mm-bl

If you can not deal with reality, reality will deal with you....