"Hey, what's the dog chewing on?"
It's not a fun day when this happens.
My neighbor had this fricken beagle named Buddy. Buddy the beagle was a menace to society. I think that bastard bit the UPS guy 3 or 4 times and got a couple of the neighborhood kids a few times as they rode their bikes. I'm surprised he never got sued.
One day I went over to his house to talk to him about something and I knew Buddy was inside. Figured I was safe. That was my first mistake. So I go to the front door and ring the doorbell and I was going to tell Bob to meet me out by the garage. His stupid daughter, 30 something year old, comes to the door and opens it wide up. Buddy shoots out of there airborne like a rocket and bit me twice before he hit the ground. It was like a bolt of lightning. So I jumped inside the house and slammed the door leaving Buddy outside. She says, "Oh my God, did he just bite you?" DUH. I said yes and asked where her father was. She said he ran up to the store and would be home soon and then asked if I was alright. I told her I was fine and that I'd stop by later. So I left out through the garage and got into my truck. It was in the Summer time, so I was wearing shorts. I looked down and my pants were turning red. I rushed home and checked it out. The bastard laid open my left nut and got me in the thigh.
After I got the bleeding under control, I rushed to the ER. I ended up with a male nurse luckily. As I sat there while he was stitching me up, I told him how embarrassing this was. He said that this is nothing, I was the victim of a dog attack. He said that you wouldn't believe all of the schit he's pulled out of dude's asses. I ended up with 4 stitches in the nut and a puncture wound to the leg. The leg was the worst believe it or not. If he wasn't my neighbor, I would have called the cops.
Now hitting it with 1" staples yourself? That dude had balls of steel........ or a ball of steel.
