To clarify, I am not looking for any actual legal advice to act on, I am simply gathering info. The advice from such a large group as this I consider valuable.
Whether or not I take the advice is another matter.
No matter what direction you take, the family will think you are the one that is being unreasonable.
If the grand son has stolen before from family and friends, he will do so again. He knows that you will not file a complaint with the police. The grand son probably has your home cased and know where the good jewelry is and if you have any money stashed in the home. Anything that he can turn into money in a quick process. Again, he knows that you will not report the lost items to the police. And you will not be able to report the loss to your insurance company.
If he has not been physical before I may start at any time, when you decide to not give (you call it loan) him some money to go out and about. Any time you loan a family member some money, you really would consider it a gift. If it was a loan you would have a signed document detailing the loan amount and payment features. The asking of money starts with a small amount and increases over time, they have learned that you are an easy mark. I learned to not cary any cash and only credit cards. That stopped the asking.
So when the grand son returns to your home, and he will what will be the deciding factor to have him removed? You have to ask your self that question. You or your wife in the ER for treatment, the jewelry box cleaned out, what is your point that you will say enough is enough.
I watched family heirlooms and all the jewelry taken, my mother in the ER for treatment, a broken hip and still she would not let me report it and she would not report it.
So what is your tipping point. Sounds like you do not have one.
