As far as finding the dot, my limited experience is that what Bluedreaux has to say about it is exactly correct. I'm not going to try to quote or even paraphrase. It shouldn't take long to find his comments on the subject here.
This?
I'd add that the key to finding the dot is proper head position (second quote below) and initial presentation of the pistol. Establish a two hand grip as early as possible, preferably as soon as it clears the holster. Present the pistol in a straight (diagonal) line from the holster to extension. Don't bring it to your center line and push it out. Don't "punch" it out. Just lift it to your line of sight. It should be horizontal, parallel to the ground, before it's lifted all the way to your line of sight.
I stand straight upright, chin parallel to the ground. Just like a normal standing person. Then clap your hands together in front of you, like your trying to catch a bug. Both arms are slightly bent and not hyper extended. They're both evenly extended. Then put a gun in them. Then, without moving your head or scrunching anything up in your neck or shoulders, just lift the gun up until you're looking at the sights.
I hold the gun with my hands and wrists. Everything else (biceps, shoulders, back) are relaxed except for the tension needed to suspend the weight of the pistol in front of me.
Stance (foot position and any slight lean) are dictated by how you might need to fight or move. They have nothing to do with the very minor recoil of a handgun.
