Rumor has it that in the weeks prior to Cecil's untimely death, he ran down a pregnant gazelle, crippled it's hind legs, ripped into her belly, and then ate her fetus while she was still alive and bleating. Cecil subsequently claimed he was doing research for Planned Parenthood...
In other news, Iran now has a green light to develop nuclear weapons, the Chinese are training to invade Taiwan, the American military has been decimated, the American government has refused to defend the country's borders, the president has been quietly sending thousands of more troops back into Iraq, Kuwait and the Ukraine, war still rages in Afghanistan, and ISIS continues to shoot innocent people, burn them alive, drown them in cages, and teach seven year old's the ancient Muslim art of beheading with dull knives.
Coming up: How to handle the abject horror and psychological trauma of accidentally encountering a Confederate Battle flag, a Nativity scene, a gun show, or a public display of the Ten Commandments...
