From my standpoint i would give her time to work it out herself, she may be able to work out the muscle factor of racking the slide.
As to the bullet weight and recoil, my wife is a greatgrandmother and has trouble racking the slide on an automatic. Having said that, when i first bought a super redhawk, it was loaded with 180grainers, she fired it without issue.
And she prefers a model 66 smith to a 36.
I wouldn't prejudge it.
