While you often read obits that say the family was at their side, more often than not they were gathered but not physically in the room. It's very common for a family to be sitting around waiting for a person to die but they don't until the family for some reason isn't actually in the room. In my brother's case, we'd been there for several hours after he was taken off life support but he didn't die until 30 minutes after we all went to lunch. From what I've heard and read, this is very common. It's like the person really doesn't want anyone there and they keep hanging on until they're alone.
My wife died of cancer. We had her in a hospital bed in the living room. I heard her coughing at 3am but when I got up at 6, she was gone, sitting in a chair. I think she'd been to the bathroom and couldn't make it back to bed so she just sat down there. My 92 yo dad was in a hospital. The nurse had been there checking him out and joking with him. She left for 20 min and he died in that time.
So, don't feel bad about not being there at the last breath. You aren't alone.
