My son married 2+ years ago. I paid for the rehearsal dinner. My wife and I helped the brides family set up and clean up the church. It was a small scale, family and very few close friends affair. No catering, just friends and family chipping in with cooking and serving. She left him a year later. Knew that was going to happen on the wedding day, but some things your kids just have to learn on their own. Glad I didn't spend a lot on that one.
My daughter married on April 21 of this year. We gave her a budget, anything over that she and her future husband could pay for. It was a DIY affair. My wife cooked and froze food for weeks ahead of time as well as sewing and making decorations, as did my mom and mother in law. We spent 2 days decorating the church ourselves and cleaning up after. My wife made new curtains and other decorations which we donated to the church afterward.
It didn't really cost that much, and wouldn't have meant anymore if it had. My daughter chose wisely and married a great guy. That is what really matters. If a fancy wedding is more important then the long term chances are more questionable.
