This may sound strange, but I believe people should take on this responsibility themselves, and not ignore it and leave it to family members. I've been exposed to a fair amount of family members passing, and about the only thing done in advance was buying a burial plot. The rest was left on others to deal with. And, I thing funeral homes take a lot of advantage at the time of a death, you only have so much time.
After my Dad passed, my Mom went back to the funeral home, and negotiated exactly what she wanted and paid for it. No issues.
My wife and I have plots and have the headstone in place. Dates will have to be cut in, but we have what we want.
My parents completely paid for everything, for both of them, before Mom died. Casket, headstone, and funeral paid for. Dad is still going strong at 90. We have a family plot at a church graveyard that one of my ancestors help start, back sometime in the 1800's. Lots of the family are buried there.
