A few...
A woman goes to the super market every week and buys 10 large cans of dog food.
The grocer gets to know her as a regular customer and one day asks what kind of dog she has. 'oh no' she says, I don't have a dog, I feed it to my husband, he loves it'.
The grocer was shocked at hearing this, and warned her that if she continued to feed her husband dog food it would kill him for sure.
The woman seemed unconcerned and continued to buy the dog food every week.
About a month later she stopped buying the dog food, the grocer was happy to see this and asked her how her husband was.
'He's dead' she replied.'I'm sorry to hear that' he said 'but I warned you that feeding your husband dog food would kill him'
'Oh no' she said 'it wasn't the dog food that killed him, he was sitting in the middle of the road licking his dick and a truck run over him'.
