Not a talking dog, but close:
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. As he tiptoed through the living room, he suddenly froze in his tracks when he heard a voice say "Jesus is watching you!"
He glanced around nervously but didn’t see anyone. After a few minutes, he began to creep forward. The voice again said, "Jesus is watching you!" Nearly frightened out of his wits, the burglar stopped and frantically looked around for the owner of the voice.
Finally, off in a dark corner, he spotted a birdcage, and in the cage was a parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot, Was that you who said "Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes" said the parrot.
No longer afraid, the burglar chuckled and proceeded to rifle through the silverware drawer.
Suddenly, almost from out of nowhere, a huge Rottweiler attacks the burglar. While the burglar is on the ground, wailing and writhing in pain, desperately attempting to stave off the dog, the parrot says "Jesus is biting you".
LOL.
He tried to warn him.
