Jim,
I understand and feel the same. I spent the war as a T-38 instructor at Columbus AFB. I sent a request about once a month for an assignment to Vietnam, and they kept coming back rejected, telling me I was too valuable where I was. Finally got tired of sending requests, and shut up. I've had several vets tell me don't think about it, it wasn't your fault, but I still have the guilt. In my own mind, I guess I consider myself on the plane. I was in a situation where the peopel trying to kill me were riding about 4' in front of me. I trained quite a few Iranians, Vietnamese, and other foreign students, and, with most, it was a circus. I just wear an Air Force hat, so I very seldom get asked those kind of questions. Just remember, you were ready and were not called. Don't think that there can be more than that.

I think I have grown to just accept fate, and press on. I'm proud of my service, as you should be. We are brothers that can hold our heads high as we did not run and we answered our country's call and did not skip the country. You are welcome at my table anytime.

Jim