Fear of hats? I wear one all the time and unlike you I still have hair. Carrying a 1911 doesn't mean I am afraid of the Texas outdoors it just means I have use for it. Sometimes I carry an early Ruger Vaquero in 45 Colt because I load shot loads in it for snakes. But that is one fugged up hat, not enough brim and panty crown make it look Seattle gay. Or like you have some kind of fetish for Ed Norton.

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Dog I rescued in January

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