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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,532
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,532 |
Here I sat,
Dick in hand,
Beating it like a one man band
When I came with a terrible roar,
I almost blew down the Schithouse door.
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 4,373
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 4,373 |
The saying in the outhouse in a very “rustic” run down fishing camp in Canada: “Booking a fishing trip to Kello Lake Lodge gives true meaning to the saying go f uck yourself”. No truer words were ever written.
My other auto is a .45
The bitterness of poor quality is remembered long after the sweetness of low price has faded from memory
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 12,344
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 12,344 |
I saw this in a San Francisco rest room.
Someone wrote, "My mother made me a h o m o sexual."
Underneath that was the reply, "If I give her the wool, will she make me one?"
Paul B.
Last edited by PJGunner; 02/06/22.
Our forefathers did not politely protest the British.They did not vote them out of office, nor did they impeach the king,march on the capitol or ask permission for their rights. ----------------They just shot them.
MOLON LABE
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196 |
I worked in Alaska as a young man...
Before sorting out where and what... I went to Fairbanks (planned to take the old CJ-7 further North, but pussed out).
After observing every house... on every street... for sale I elected to drink.
At the local corner bar I began.
In the restroom on the wall... it said
"Oh Lord, Please give us One More Pipeline... We promise to not piss it away. Amen" Bumper sticker too.
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196 |
“Here I sat with my buns a flexin, I just gave birth to another Texan”
Saw a similar one in BC while driving through Canada. Here I sit My ass hole hurtin’ ‘Cause I just schit Another Albertan
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6,546
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6,546 |
In the men's room in a restaurant in southeast Colorado is a sign above the toilet. It has a picture of a deer inside of crosshairs. The sign states, "It is amazing how a man can hit a running deer at 300 yards yet miss the toilet at 1 foot away. My response to that is that my deer rifle has sights and Willie has a mind of his own.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,801
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,801 |
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Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 231
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 231 |
Please aim straight- those after you my be on all fours
Note taped on closed toilet lid- Please don’t flush! Possible world record. Gone to get camera.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196 |
About 10yrs ago my two sons and I were having a beer at the Salty Dog Saloon on the Homer Spit and there were 100’s of 1$ bills stapled to the walls with messages on them. In the men’s room above the urinal was one that said “Andy chugs cock for a Buck”. I had to take a pic and send it to my sons hunting buddy Andy. Quite a place the Salty Dog be. Last time I was there, there were bras hanging from the rafters. Seems is a lady would launch her flopper stopper and get it to stay in the rafters, she got a free drink. The wife had an amaretto sour. There were Sharpies hanging from a cup near the restrooms so you could write a poem on the wall. And you could use your pocketknife to carve your initials in the tables. Yup an interesting place. The bar in Chicken has ladies panties on the ceiling.
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196 |
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 20,218
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 20,218 |
You may paint these walls to hide my pen but the shlthouse poet will strike again!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196 |
Didn’t see these classics posted.
Those with short bats, step close to the plate.
We aim to please.
You aim too, please.
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,857
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,857 |
In a porta chiter in Iraq....
"Don't use the sink, it tastes like piss."
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,536
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,536 |
I have written Jesus Saves in more than a few
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 14,163
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 14,163 |
You can piss in London, you can piss in France if you don’t piss you’ll piss you pants
Well we're Green and we're Gold, and we play better when it's cold. All us Cheese heads have our favorite superstar. We love Brett Favre.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 909
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 909 |
Probably in every military base in the world, " flush twice. It's a long way to the chow hall."
Leave the gun, take the canolis.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 440
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 440 |
[bleep] poets, you sons a bitches, if you stop to read this, you'll surely [bleep] your britches.
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Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 14,694
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 14,694 |
I recall a multi-stanza poem about Barnacle Bill the Sailor written on the wall of a Boy Scout camp cabin when I was a kid. Man, I wish I had transcribed it. When you read it, you could hear how it would sound if sung in an opera. It was EPIC! Oh! I found a similar "Barnacle Bill the sailor" https://genius.com/The-controllers-barnacle-bill-the-sailor-lyricsI remember a verse that went "What if I should have a baby What if I should have a baby Asked the fair young maiden We'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch said Barnacle Bill the sailor" I didn't know it had a history too. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnacle_Bill_the_Sailor
Politics is War by Other Means
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 7,008
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 7,008 |
This was in a porta potty.
“You are now sitting in the captain’s chair of a Mexican space shuttle”…
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 5,732
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 5,732 |
Restaurant bathroom sign , "We aim to please, You aim too, Please!"
In a Port=o=let on a job, arrows to the urinal, "Mexican Welding Helmet"
"Camping places fix themselves in your mind as if you had spent long periods of your life in them.
You will remember a curve of your wagon track in the grass of the plain like the features of a friend."
Isak Dinesen
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Forums81
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