Obviously you are talking the !st gen Tundra with the 4.7 or the very first Gen 2s? the 5.7 has a chain, so does the 4.6.
I have NEVER had a problem with my 07 going in and out of 4wd, done it hundreds of times. Twice today as a matter of fact.
Did have to replace the oil sending unit on it today though. 175,000 miles and 14+ yrs? expect stuff like that.
The 2nd gen tundra has a fairly low reverse, lower than the Fords and Chevys I've had.
Are you sure we are talking about the same truck?
The first gen was a totally different animal.
I have never heard of a Gen 2 Tundra losing a ball joint, my truck has never even had an alignment in almost 15 years.

How many new trucks have a stick to engage the 4wd these days? almost none, wish they did but it is what it is.