Dumber than a last year's crow's nest
So crooked when he dies they'll have to screw him into the ground
Smilin' like the butcher's dog
So unlucky, if it was raining soup my dish would be upside down
He can grow good corn in a bad year
So steep a cat can't get traction on it
Slicker than snot on a porcelain doorknob
As graceful as a hog on ice
Too wet to plow and too windy to pick rocks
Nervous as a cat in a kennel
(Referring to someone who was scared)
You couldn't have pulled a straight pin outta his ass with a D-10
(Something that was long time ago)
Since Cooley was a pup.
(Someone working at a fast pace)
He was nothing but arseholes and elbows.
Last edited by Yoder409; 02/07/22.
