Colder than a witch's titty in a brass bra
Slicker than alligator snot
That truck doesn't have enough power to pull a greasy string out of a cat's ass.
She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
If he had dynamite for brains, he couldn't blow his nose
His brains were laid on the sharp edge of a razor blade it would look like a BB on a 4-lane highway
He's dumber than a sack of hammers
I'm so broke I can't pay attention
