Most people are embarrassed by schitt like this but I don't give a damn and maybe it can be a learning lesson to others. I'm an ex heroin addict. I've been clean for over 11 years and was surprisingly a functioning addict that worked a job because I had a family that I had to provide for and I knew that I needed money to support habit and wasn't willing to steal like other people. Nobody just wakes up one day and decides to be an addict. It usually starts with opioid prescriptions like it did for me. I was on vicodin for a legit medical reason and it escalated from there in a long drawn out process that once into, you look back and finally see how far you're in and it's consumed your whole life. Nothing is fun anymore without being high. Hobbies have no value. You sometimes can't even enjoy your current high because youre worried about where the next one will come from. There's no goal to look forward to except to get high. Aspirations no longer exist. I'd be a liar to say that it's not an amazing feeling. It's almost magical and you don't care how you look to the outside world because when you start to judge yourself or reflect on your own life, you can always spend another $20 and make it all disappear. That's why I empathize with people in this situation. I don't believe it's a disease like some do, but once you unlock that part of your brain it's hard to close the door. One day I didn't recognize myself in the mirror when I was higher than a kite and decided I was done so I made a pact with myself that night and stuck to it. I went to work the next day in full blown withdrawal and told my boss the deal and asked if I could have a week off and if I'd still have a job. He said to take all the time I needed. That was a rough week but I got through it and really glad that I did and I changed my life around and consider myself a better person for it. It's easy to look at a person and just call them a junkie without knowing their story or their demons that they hide from.
Glad you're still clean Mr Bearded. Cold turkey jonesin was likely no fun at all. You were really lucky to have an understanding boss, many aren't and other folks like you don't have that to fall back on, so the cycle starts again.
Re: addiction being a disease, many might disagree with you. Your phrase "but once you unlock that part of your brain it's hard to close the door." might be considered one definition of a disease.
Matters not to me, once one has lost the ability to "choose" whether one partakes or not, they've got to find a way to deal with it. Disease or not.
Anyone who's never been through withdrawals from any addiction, chosen or prescribed ........................I just hope you never have to.
