I have to give Ayoob at least a little credit for writing In Gravest Extreme. It was the first book I read (35+ years ago) that talked about the legalities (and tactics) of self defense, and it worked well to help teach a then-new wife about the topic. You can argue about many of his specific positions, but he did make me realize, what seems logical and obvious is not necessarily legal.
As far as the controversial "don't use handloads for self defense" Ayoob has produced a couple of specific cases where they caused legal problems. So the risk of handloads causing problems is low, but not zero.
