Okay, time to lighten it up with some jokes.
What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver at a stop sign?
The drunk blows through it at 60 mph and t-bones a car, killing everyone in it. The stoner sits at the stop sign for 20 minutes waiting for it to turn green.
How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? Doesn't matter, they forgot where they put the spare bulbs.
How many drunks does it take to change a light bulb? "What the f*ck you talking about my light bulb for, you f*cking ass-hole?! I'm gonna kick your f*ckin' ass!!!"
How do you know if there's a stoner in your house? The refrigerator is empty.
How do you know if there is a drunk in your house? The front end of his car sticking through your living room wall should give you a clue.
What's a stoner's favorite TV show? The test pattern. (older kids will remember this)
What's a drunk's favorite TV show? "You f*cking ass hole!! Change the f*cking channel, you f*cking worthless bitch or Ill kick your f*cking ass!!! How come you haven't brought me another beer yet, you f*cking stupid c*nt? You want me to smack you in the other eye? Huh? Do ya?! C'mon, give me one f*cking excuse to beat the sh*t out of you, you goddam worthless whore. Sh*t, I'm gonna kick your f*cking ass anyway just for turnin' on the TV while I'm trying to drink!"
Unfortunately, those jokes perpetuate false stereotypes.
