Originally Posted by shrapnel


Armchair quarterbacking someone's life is as wrong as any other instance of speculation on circumstances that haven't been personally experienced. How do people die? How should they die? These are questions that only God can answer. If you don't believe in God, you have a different perspective. I will stick with a belief in God.

There is nothing to tear at your heart, as to have a conversation with your daughter that is battling cancer and have her tell you she doesn't want to die. Being afraid of dying is different. For years we talked about everything, death wasn't something we talked about, but as the years progressed we understood it could shorten her life, substantially.

She was a wonderful person, robbed of one of her most valuable possessions, time. There is nothing fair about cancer and to try and understand it from a human perspective is impossible. I believe in God and that His plan, though different than mine, is somehow better.

We didn't talk about a convenient time for her to end her life, we stood by her and hoped for any miracle that would save her. It never happened and I sat in a hospital room, holding her hand as she took her last breath and cried.

That has been almost 4 years ago, I still cry every day, there is nothing like the loss of a child.

I see two different philosophies here. Some of us want to have absolute control and try to compartmentalize our lives for some satisfaction of control and organization. To those who do that, I am not condemning them, but I feel a stronger association with God and that it isn't up to us to make our lives so convenient that we forget who we are and why we are here.

Cancer is a merciless killer and I can't understand it, I miss Paige every day...

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about ten years ago, i watched my mother die a slow death. Then 3months later it was my son's turn. A victim of downwinders, i.e. govt testing of nuclear bombs in nevada, and blowover radiation into arizona, and he died of cancer. That day i called up to prescott, sensed it was time and got there just in time to hold his hand and whisper in his ear, just let go, let it get done. About 30seconds later, he died. I watched him suffer with that cancer for months. He died about four days before the 4th of july, so you can imagine how our fourth's go these days. People shouldn't outlive their kids. Ronnie was my stepson. A couple of months before he died we were having this conversation, I never knew what to call him, son, friend, buddy, he was all of these. He gave me then the biggest compliment i ever got, and said i was always there for him, unlike his biological dad, so "dad" worked for him. I miss him to this day.
Tomorrow I will be up where we always deer hunted, and i will do like I do every year, stop by the place he liked to camp and remember. Cancer is an evil thing, and I don't have good answers except i don't blame anyone that wants to end the pain.
I remember that last elk hunt he tried to do. He did the walking and so on, but would be screaming at night from the pain. It isn't fun to be in a camp listening to your son cry out like that and not a damn thing you can do. I do know if he had chosen to take his own life, none of us, and I mean none, would have blamed him.

Last edited by RoninPhx; 10/29/14.
THE BIRTH PLACE OF GERONIMO