Here are a few my Dad used to say...

That just makes my azz want a dip of snuff!

I had my azzhole skin grafted to my eyelids and it gave me a shiddy outlook on life...

shaking like a dog shidding a peach seed!

She's so uptight you couldn't drive a flax seed up her azz with a sledgehammer....

I strained so hard lifting that you could cut donuts off my azzhole…

he got the [bleep] so bad he could crap through the eye of needle at 30ft..

He was drunk as a peach orchard boar hog...

She had a face as long as three rainy days...

He had a penis the size of a $20 roll of nickles…

That smells like a fat woman fanning her skirts...

I better stop there or I'm going to get in trouble...lol




Last edited by Jim_Knight; 02/05/20.