A running horse never plowed a field.

Uglier than a mudhen.

A farting horse will never tire, a farting man is the man to hire.

Tighter than a bull's ass in fly time.

Fits like a fist in the eye.

It's not the hole that rots, it's the post.

Viagra: Like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

Heard in Canada offering the Indian guide water, "Beer good enough."

My other auto is a .45

The bitterness of poor quality is remembered long after the sweetness of low price has faded from memory