I'd show your post to your Dad's doctor and ask for his/her advice on how to handle the situation. If you can get the Dr. to agree that he needs to go to a home and that it would be best for both him and your Mom, it will make it much easier on you and your Mom. I think there is enough there to legally say that he is incapacitated and then get legal Power of Attorney. I'm sure if your Mom, you, and your brother can all attest that this is his behavior, then you can get it done. Certainly not the way you want your Mom to be living in her later years. Taking care of my 81 and 80 year old parents, I can relate. It is incredibly tough and fortunately, my Dad doesn't exhibit any of the behaviors of your Dad. I can only imagine how tough it is for the family. Good luck.
