What is happening with your dad, is a by product of Stress. Where he gets the inability to deal with the simplest of things that can put him in a stress mode.
This makes his anger, come out of nowhere and his temper to immediately blow. Having Fox on all day is not helping at all, and is adding fuel to the flames.
Fox is no different than any other news outlet, they live for the shock factor to increase ratings... Same with "talk" radio... they claim to keep you "informed", which is instead constant bashing of the world you live in, and keeps one's stress and followed by anger high.
Leaving doors to cabinets or the frig, etc is forgetfulness, but also extenuating what probably of his having ADHD and ADD. Was your dad full of an A Type personality and having a strong drive most of his life, having the stress of providing for you, your brother and mother? Giving each of you a lot in life along the way? Now he is not needed so much by anyone any more? The source of the problem is what is going on inside your dad's head. His world is changing, from what his life has always been, to something to where he has essentially been put out to pasture and is not dealing with it well. HIs world is now going in the total opposite direction. I'd dare see he has spent a life time being an accomplished person.. Suddenly he wakes up one day and no longer is. He has to rely on others, where the rest of his life beforehand has been people relying on him.
No where in the responses above, has anyone addressed what is going on in your dad's head and world.. Its just protect mom and throw dad in a Nursing home, memory care unit, take away his ability or need to address simple daily things in his life. His anger and temper is pushed further by people's reaction to his frustrations bursting out, just like a little kid will act out. We understand that in our society, but we don't understand when older adults do like that.
your dad is not receiving any love, or support at all.. he's always seeming to be the bad guy. No one needs him any more, or else they are relying on him now more than ever... greater than the ability for him to handle it all. He has issues that need to be addressed, not him being rejected in response all the time. In our society, we can understand machines wear out, but people are not allowed to... especially when it is someone who people have relied upon so much for so long.. then suddenly that is gone. They are concerned with their lives, because they can manage it on their own, and dear old dad and husband is no longer really needed.. His internal guilt from his own incidents of exploding at the one's he loves most, just causes him to act out more over anger and frustration with it.
I know what the solutions are, but I doubt few would understand them, because your dad is being judged by others perspectives, and no one is bothering to try to figure out his. Simple solutions, when is the last time you or your mom or brother, have put your arms around your dad when he is starting off on a tempertantrum and just told him you love him? or thank him for all that he has done to contribute to your lives? you might try it and see what you get.
Your dad is going thru incidents of feeling useless any more, not being able to do what he use to be able to do, things important to him most of his life are changing, and suddenly what was status quo is now wrong.....he probably is a person who loves his country, and then is having WOKE, BLM, Antifa, democRats and everything else so screwed up shoved down his throat.. acting out is when it has put his mind on overload on top of all the other experiences he is dealing with, where he is no longer what he use to be, but having to deal with what he has become.
Quit pushing dad away, and thinking everything is his fault, and if you have love for him, it needs to be shown....
most people will look at their mom differently, going thru all of this, than they do their dad... its back to society's standards we have been living our entire life...Mothers and children are more important than good old White Guys who had to supply everything, and a "REAL MAN" was suppose to do it, be always self sacrificing and never expect anything in return for it.
I'll bet my bottom dollar that is where your dad is at. and sure, he can be Mr Nice Giuy, when he is at the doctor's office, because he is away from the stress of his daily environment for a brief time.. the doctor's office is showing care and concern about him.... as soon as he walks out the door, he's back in the same place... Everything wrong in the world is his fault and he's nothing but a POS to those around him, that he has loved the most for a life time.
He gets away from that, his stress drops like a rock....
No one is seeing what he is seeing... no one around him is able to "walk a mile in his shoes" and understand the perspective he sees....
