I went in, saw the needle and prepared for the worst............doc messed around and said "today's your lucky day"...........he couldn't do the procedure in the office.

Said he couldn't find a vas on the left side so would do the deal in the hospital, I'd be knocked out.

OK.

Woke up from anesthesia, couldn't open my eyes. Like a giant block of granite was sitting on me, crushing from head to toe. I hissed "what the F did you do to me?" and passed out. Woke up, same thing, knocked out again.

Think 3 to 5 times they morphined me.

Nurse was hot, big jugs too, didn't care. Apologized trying to get my socks on to leave.

Couldn't sit upright in wheelchair, the pain......they decided to admit me overnight. Told them they did enough damage and left.

The old lady packed 'em in frozen veg packs and I slept all night (woke up to eat and drink and go back to sleep).

Next day I'm on the couch miserable, stepson tries to be a good kid and mow yard. He couldn't get mower started, so I get up and pull start, and push mow the yard.

Feel like sheite, on the couch w icepack or mowing yard, no diff. The woman says I have a huge bump on my side. Yup, like a vacuum cleaner hose, I lay down and push my guts back in.

Miserable.

Go to work, same thing. Massive pain. Go to reg doc, and then to specialist..........yup, hernia.

Get that fixed a week later and feel better. But not good. Now it feels like my balls are in a frying pan on red/orange glow and getting tapped with a hammer. 24/7.

There are also these "lightning storms" of pain......whole body cramps up.

This crap goes on for a yr, solid. Then maybe every other day for the next yr. Then once a week for the 3rd.........finally something "popped" (scared me) and everything was gone pain/lightning storm wise within 3 months.

Of course I did my job to my size 1 old lady w a perfect ass..........the whole time. Brutal. Now that everything is OK.............she files for divorce and leaves LOL.

Oh well.

Turns out I'm missing a vas on one side because I'm also missing a kidney. Some acronym for it, common with premies......hell I never knew.

Lefty is brand new........never used...........guess I'm saving it for somebody special.

Oh yeah, after hernia op and all the pain from the nut deal, they did X ray to check for missing kidney (they should have done that instead of going exploratory while doing the vasectomy- that is what damaged all the nerves and gave me a hernia on top of it).

Told them I don't do well with lobster, say different iodine isotope.....it'll be OK.

Nope, turn red all over, boiling hot, like wrapped in fiberglass.

Total clusterfork.

Made it through OK, but for 3 yrs I didn't do much, couldn't do much........the pain.

Balls never bruised, swelled or nuthing. Everything else was a mess.

Never have another local dr do a procedure on me ever again. Even a specialist........think all the losers work in my burg.

Last edited by hookeye; 04/18/17.