A friend of mine has often said "If you won't come to see me when I'm alive, don't bother coming to the funeral".
I was taught to not disrespect the dead, for it shows two things, first and foremost, you don't have the capacity for forgiveness, and second, you make it damned tough for people to want to be around you because you lack respect for others.
Forgiveness isn't about letting someone off the hook for something they've done, it's about you letting go of your hurt and getting on with life, free of the anger.
The person who has hurt you doesn't even need to know that you have chosen to forgive them, because it's not about them, it's about you and your health.
Ed
"Not in an open forum, where truth has less value than opinions, where all opinions are equally welcome regardless of their origins, rationale, inanity, or truth, where opinions are neither of equal value nor decisive." Ken Howell
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