When Paul said women shouldn't speak in church, he was talking about something we don't have today. Most women weren't educated and couldn't read in Roman times so while someone was preaching or teaching, they were whispering to their husbands "what does he mean by that" or "what does that mean". This was disruptive. Also when Paul said women were to obey their husbands, the word obey in Greek should have been translated respect. Men need respect and women need love. This is what Paul meant hear. When talking about womens way of dressing, it was more about gaudiness and drawing attention than just dressing so as not to stand out from others. I had a preacher once who said if you are looking at someone from the rear, you should be able to tell if they are a man or woman. Simple common sense stuff, not extremes.
