Got caught in high school band practice drinking wine out of a bota bag that I had dropped down the bell of my Sousaphone (marching type tuba) and run a long plastic tube down by the mouthpiece. The other tuba player and I were enjoying a little vintage Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill and it didn't occur to us that my horn sounded like sheit! The band director noticed, however and when he discovered the "obstruction" he went to work on our azzes. He was a little Jewish guy with "little man syndrome" and was notorious for his paddling. He had a custom 3/4" thick paddle with beveled 1/4" holes drilled in it. After he finished, your azz looked like you'd been sitting on a sheet of pegboard for an hour.
When we were practicing marching formations he used to carry the paddle under his arm like you would a riding crop and slip up behind whoever was fugging off and bust the hell out of them with it.
Managed to get him back somewhat though. In the last high school football game I ever played in, I was run out of bounds returning a kick and mowed him over and knocked the breath out of him. Ruined his all-white suit and broke his goofy glasses too....Mr. Stanley Leopold-R.I.P.
John
