Get it handled now. Nothing will destroy a family like fighting over a dead loved one.
If those remaining are not wise and civil enough to behave ethically and properly, they are responsible for their own destruction.
Along with my wife, I am one of these aging folks. We have prepared the recommended documents on behalf of our loved ones and they all have copies - and are appreciative. But we will not cease living our normal loves and using the stuff we have gathered to help us do that. Our family has never suggested such and, as loved and loving ones, they will not.
A life is just that - freedom - and not to be governed by what others wish or feel they need - or wish to avoid. "Loved ones" should understand and respect that if they too are loving. We have invested much and much of ourselves in helping them learn and grow as real people. People are not real - far from good folks - if they do not honor such investments on the part of their forebears.
If those remaining are not wise and civil enough to behave ethically and properly, they are responsible for their own destruction.
