You are doing right by taking about your loss. I lost a GF/Companion who died by suicide,. As a result of lack of resources a Suicide Survivors Group was started at the local Hospice. Based on my experience it is a good thing to have a support group, That survivors group was made up of people whose loved one's had taken their own lives. It sure helped me. Hope you can find support like this in your community. I kinda go along with the comments here on self-blame.
