Sincerely you have my deepest sympathy, may God grant you the extra strength for each day.. if i may, please don't do that to yourself. You're attempting to rationalize a distorted thought process. You sound like a wonderful man, don't fault yourself for not being a mind reader.


Be Polite , Be Professional , but have a plan to kill everybody you meet
-General James Mattis United States Marine Corps


Nothing is darker than a mau mau's moo moo.