I'll tell my tale of direct threat from one of their ranks, this one actually threatened my own troops. Private first born and private second born were pulling bicycle duty up and down the driveway when private 1st born says" hey dad a racoon!!". I thought this odd because is was 15:00 not dark thirty when they usually attack. We'll this devil appeared to be out of his mind and actually made an advance on my troops. I yelled for a immediate retreat back to home base and to bar the doors. I grabbed my 22 semi and ran to meet the foe face to face and rather than high tail it the furry little demon was now double timing in my direction. 3 rounds to the face stopped him in his tracks( although I have to admit that the first round probably went wide because I was a little taken back by his charge). It was a desperate situation but we continue to persevere.
God speed gentlemen.
General Mills.
Gen Mills,
Given the dire conditions you faced, I will hereby recommend to Gen. Cornpone that you be granted a double portion of "Old Group Tightener and Fish Enlarger" as reward for your gallantry in the face of mortal peril.
Your Humble Servant,
Maj.Malfunction
"Not in an open forum, where truth has less value than opinions, where all opinions are equally welcome regardless of their origins, rationale, inanity, or truth, where opinions are neither of equal value nor decisive." Ken Howell
