I read this whole thread and am laughing hard and long.
To one side why don't you all get together in a big group, hug each other, kiss each others' babies, bring granny and old uncle Henry along, and have a giant BBQ. Wash it down with drinks of water from the cup hanging at the town square pump.
To the other side keep digging the hole deeper and pull more sagebrush over the top...should work, until it rains.
This was like watching monkeys throwing their schidt at each other.
...think I'll go fishing...
