For me it's like a zen thing on the sight-relax-inhale-hold-squeeze-exhale cycle. The bullet is on its way to the X-ring (hopefully) before I can react. Pain has taught me to value longer eye relief scopes on heavier recoiling pieces as well as teaching me when to say when for the day.
Stock/rifle configuration is a part of the equation. I once had a 700 ADL in 308. This was the cheapo '80s model & it was very uncomfortable to shoot even with 150s or 165s. At the same sitting I was shooting a steel buttplate Model 54 Winchester in 30-06 with 180s or 200s very comfortably. Around the same time I picked up a used, thinking it was a Voere, 300 WinMag with a big MonteCarlo & it was brutal with factory 180s, but a 300 H&H loaded up warm with a straight stock wasn't bad at all even with 200s. The absolute worst ever was a light 375 H&H with a real thin barrel that torqued upwards leaving a bloody 1/2 circle mark of the beast over my left eye (I'm right handed) more than once from the bench. I wrapped a sling around the cast iron front rest with a 25# bag of shot & it broke the damned sling swivel & bit me again. It was possessed by a demon. It was uncontrollable at the bench, but was actually kind of fun to shoot off-hand or sitting.
A whole lot of life has happened since then. Most of what's left is .473 base stuff, but there are still a few belted cases just because. The newest meds thin my blood, so after 20 rounds from a low bench with a high seat shooting full house loads in a 7 1/2 lb 358 Winchester or a 35 Whelen my shoulder turns weird shades of yellowish purple & gets tenderized for a few days. This cant be a good thing so I bought a pad & am now unmarked after a day at the range. I have to crawl the stock to see thru the scope, but that's OK.
Bench technique matters too. I usually shoot free recoil or minimal touch with lighter calibers from the bench, a little firmer hold with the middle weights, & with definite firm shoulder contact (now with a pad) 338 & above. Still checking 2nd hand shops for a low drummer's stool.
Pistol is a whole 'nuther thing. Same thing only different. Anticipation is fun to watch when the chamber comes up empty. "Dont push" the old jarhead used to say... "Take yer time, son" the old police chief used to tell me until conscious action became habit... most of the time.
