Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Ask The Gunwriters Biggest BS story!

Well, there's a lot stuff posted here that fits the BS category. I keep this plugged into my computer at all times.



I'll give you an example.

At the Campfire With Bill and Joe- Part One

Whenever Bill, Joe and I go hunting, the best part of the day starts after we have supper. We sit around the campfire, have a few drinks and shoot the breeze. Away from our normal lives, it�s great to relax in the company of friends.

What I did on our last trip was record part of the first night�s campfire chat. This was last fall; we were moose hunting at Lewzer�s Pass in Northern Ontario, just a few miles from Mouche Noir. I transcribed part of what was said, so that you could experience the fun. I�m an avid reader and usually get the ball rolling.

"Have any of you guys read this? It's from the latest edition of Mighty Guns Monthly magazine. Some guy in Arizona has come out with a 75 calibre cartridge based on the 50BMG. He calls it the 75 Slammer..."

"Wow! That's amazing Steve! What's it like to shoot?" Joe loved to hear about new rifles and cartridges.

"It doesn't say, Joe. Apparently the guy is too chicken to try it."

Bill chimed in. "Wait a minute, Steve. How can you make a 75 calibre cartridge from a 50BMG case? The bullet ain't gonna fit! And why do you buy that magazine anyways? Half the stories are full of crap. The other half wanna sell you stuff you won't ever use."

As Bill talked, you could see the disappointment in Joe�s face. Since grade school, Bill always was the doubting Thomas of the group. Even though he�d never seen one, Joe tried to explain to him how the Slammer worked.

"The 50 BMG is a bottlenecked case right? They just get rid of the bottleneck, that's all. Why do you always have to run things down, Bill?"

"'Cause it ain't gonna work, that's why. Okay, so you end up with a straight walled case, right? Where is it gonna headspace off of? 45/70s and 303s headspace off the rim 'cause it sticks out. The 50BMG is a rimless case. Don't you get it? They're pullin' your leg!"

I had to admit that what Bill said made sense. Joe grabbed the magazine and scanned the page. After a few seconds he said,

"Yeah? Well it says right here that they have some rifles already made up and they got pictures too. Right underneath it says, 'NEXT MONTH, RANGE RESULTS WITH PICTURES!'"

It was time for me to shut up and watch the fun. Bill and Joe could go on for hours. Bill started again.

"Okay then, I'll try this another way. Suppose a guy DID have a 75 calibre rifle. What the heck are you going to use it for?"

"African game. Hello! See Bill, writers have been writing about magnums for a while now. Remember when all they wrote about was them Super Short and Ultra rifles? I guess the Slammer's designer figured that heavy and slow bullets are about to come back in style again. He wanted to be the first guy to come up with a workable cartridge."

"Workable? Are you nuts!?! How much does the bullet weigh?"

"It says 2000 grains..."

"Well, that makes sense then doesn't it? That's manageable. That's a reasonable weight. Oh brother! Are they spitzers? Okay. I must have misunderstood. That should rocket successfully to the top so to speak..."

"Bill, you just don't get it. This rifle ain't made for us regular guys. Well, not exactly. A big name gunsmith like Charles Sisque builds one out of fancy wood and gives it away to a famous writer like Jon Barsnett. Them are the ones worth $5000 or more okay? Then, some photographer takes pictures and Barsnett comes up with a story that we're supposed to believe. After, a few of us write the editor and either complain or praise the guy or the article. That's how things work in the publishing industry. Ain't you been to that website, 24 hour CampFryer?"

"No, and I don't intend to. The internet is full of weirdoes. Is that supposed to be a hunting site?"

"Yes. And the guys there ain't weirdoes. They even got real, verified gun writers that post in the "Gut the Gunwriter" forum. It's moderated though, so you can't give some famous person a blast and expect it will stand. The moderator is a doctor."

"So, you mean guys like Jon Barsnett or Gregg Barrington go there?"

"Barsnett does, but Barrington doesn't. He's too busy flying planes for the Air Force. Steve Zapperton posts there though. They discuss all sorts of neat things..."

"Like what?"

"Well, like the atmospherical air affects of the air on bullets in the air and stuff..."

"So you mean it's stuff that you either don't understand or don't care about because you only hunt with a 30/30?"

"I guess...but it's still neat to read! One time they had a discussion about the influence of space radiation on a spinning body in the atmosphere.�

Bill just sat there looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a pickup. I guess he was either amazed or confused. It didn�t seem like Joe noticed though. He just kept on talking.

�Why are you givin' me that dumb look, Bill? Okay, so you may not understand about all that, but there are some of us guys that do. Did you know that gamma rays can cause instability in copperized bullets in a dibilitated ionasphere? Since you use them Burns Copperized Hex Bullets so much, I'd think that would interest you."

"No, it don't. Do they talk about animals?"

"Heck yeah! There was a thread on Bigfoot in Montana and another on how to properly butcher buffalo wings..."

"Buffalo wings? Bigfoot? Are you nuts? Buffaloes don�t have wings! And everybody knows that there ain�t no such thing as Bigfoot! I�m sorry Joe, but these people sound a little loony to me..."

"Bill, just because you went night school does not mean you know everything. I can see you ain't eaten at Kernel Sandy's. Them wings come prepared with three different sauces. It's against the law to falsely advertise a product. I think it's one of them FDA things."

"The Food and Drug Administration?"

"No, the Franchise Dishonesty Act. I'm pretty sure anyway. Since I'm not in the business, I only read about it the papers..."