"I could be wrong but I still think some bad shooting that is blamed on magnums is just bad shooting."
Yes, it is. Some people will be mediocre shots no matter what they're shooting, even a .22 rimfire, due to lack of practice or physical coordination, poor eyesight (even with "corrected" vision and a scope), or excitement when shooting game.
Theodore Roosevelt is a good example--well, except for scopes, which he apparently never used. He was an avid shooter, who practiced all the time, but his eyesight wasn't great even with the glasses of the day, and he apparently got excited, so took shots and chances he shouldn't have--even after he'd hunted considerably for decades.
But my major point is that all humans are individuals, with varying characteristics, including pain threshold, eye/hand coordination, etc. And recoil tolerance can change over time. My wife is a good example. She didn't start shooting rifles and hunting seriously until her mid-30s, but turned out to be a natural in both. After working her way up through a pellet rifle (so she could practice on magazine photos of big game in the garage) to a .22 rimfire to centerfires, she got really good, partly because we live where constant practice on small varmints is possible.
She got REALLY good, and fast, when we lived in a country house where her 2nd-story office window overlooked our garden. She kept a .22 next to her desk, and when a Richardson's ground squirrel showed up in the garden, she'd shove her wheeled office chair over to the window, and whop! That also translated to shooting big game, and she eventually shot rifles up to .416 Remington Magnum with no problems. Among other rifles, she shot a 6-1/2 pound .30-06 VERY effectively, with 180-grain handloads at 2800+ fps.
But about 12-15 years ago she started getting recoil headaches. This can happen as we get older, because we're less flexible, and recoil tends to affect some people much like a concussion (though even doctors can disagree about the definition of concussion). She eventually switched to a 6-1/2-pound .308 Winchester as her "big" rifle, and used it very well with 150-grain premium bullets, both in North America and Africa.
The headache problem, however, grew even worse, and eventually we had to add a small muzzle brake to the rifle--and handload 130-grain bullets to 150-grain velocities. This has proven to be a good solution, since her headache problem has apparently stabilized. The last elk she killed was the biggest cow either of us has taken, as large as many mature bulls, taken at around 250 yards quartering toward her. The 130-grain TTSX broke the left leg just above the big shoulder joint, traveling through both lungs--and the cow staggered 20-25 yards, obviously done for, before falling.
This is just another example of how humans are individuals, which people like peeshooter fail to recognize--along with the fact that bullet quality and placement make more difference than the amount of powder or recoil. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that some hunters (usually but not always men) equate recoil with "killing power."
But the assumption that all humans are exactly alike (and especially like "me") is a common human failing.
IMO the noise generated by a rifle is what causes most people to flinch. Also a a moderate weight rifle that recoils straight back vs. one with lots of muzzle lift is much easier to deal with. Which is why stock fit/pattern and barrel contour is important.
